The Mercy of Fortune
by nyxie9
Summary: Part 1 of Veridicality Series. Due to popular demand, I'm reposing the revised story! "When a man is prey to his emotions, he is not his own master, but lies at the mercy of fortune." Dean and Sam take on a case with an hunter who is too close to their family for comfort. Begins early in the first season, after Bloody Mary. OFC
1. Chapter 1

**The Mercy of Fortune**

After a number of requests, I'm reposting the revised version of The Mercy of Fortune!

 **Summary** : The Winchesters meet up with a fellow hunter who comes bearing some interesting parts of their past. Takes place after Bloody Mary but will be AU. This story makes more sense, the more you read.

 **Disclaimer** : All I own is Mavis. Feel free to let me know how I'm doing!

* * *

The hair on the back of his neck stood on end almost the moment he entered the bar. The knowledge that someone was watching him was almost second nature. It kicked in as natural as breathing. And he knew he was being watched.

Hazel eyes swept the bar inconspicuously, hoping that the subject would stand out but of course, his luck did not run that way. That eerie sensation was not a new one. The past several weeks in fact, he'd felt like someone was watching him, just out of eye-shot. Dean Winchester was beginning to think he might be paranoid.

And there she was. Seeing her face again was a punch to the gut, taking his breath away for a moment. She was pretty, pretty as ever, and the last person he had expected to see when his eyes landed on her. Ever again. Her pale skin held a touch of pink in the cheeks. Her red hair pulled back. Those blue-gray eyes, too big for a hunter locked right on his. Her pleasant face was still rather soft with youth, but an angular jaw framed her wide mouth. Nice lips, she always had nice lips.

Dread and doubt clenched his stomach. Mae… no, Mavis he corrected, was not the sort of girl he wanted to find attractive. He didn't want to find her at all but the fact that he was still attracted to her held an extra layer of insult. She had never been ugly, but he wanted her to be right then. It was only fair. Somehow, he thought it might have been easier if she were. The woman should have at least been plain or awkward. With a name like that, she had no right being as pretty as she was.

She had no right pulling at the emotions, emotions he thought he'd put away, with that secret smile as she looked straight at him. A strange mix of joy and pain flooded him. She was the last person he wanted to see, and yet, there was a small part of him that thrilled to set eyes on her again. He pushed those turbulent feelings down with a bitter grin. That enigmatic smile widened as she offered him a mock toast with her beer. She leaned back to prop her impossibly long legs on the other chair at her table. It wasn't exactly an invitation, but she had to know that he wasn't going to walk away from this.

"You have to do better than that Red." He muttered to himself as he got and paid for his beer.

If he considered her more objectively, thoughts uncolored by negative emotion, he could admit she was a good-looking woman, better than he remembered actually. If they didn't have the history they had, she would still have been the first woman in the bar he would have tried to hook up with. Her long red hair and a tall, lean body, sculpted and refined with age had its appeal.

The girl he knew was good with a gun, a knife, a bow … whatever weapon was put in her hands. He didn't think that could have changed in the years since he'd last seen her. She was probably better, he thought, twisting the knife a bit more.

Her gaze focused only on him, so intense in those moments that he that thought maybe she could see through him. It nearly shook him for reasons he couldn't define and didn't want to explore. Time to bite the bullet, Dean thought as he took a sip of beer. He tried to look casual, making his way over to her.

Mae suppressed an outward expression of it as a trill of excitement shot up her spine and a touch of nerves tried to clench her throat. This was business, nothing more. She was doing a favor that she knew she didn't owe. And yet…and yet here she was. Was it, she wondered, the best or easiest way to do what she had agreed to do or was she just trying to break free of the tediousness of this current agreement?

His smile was so hopelessly smug that hers wavered just a bit. It would have been easier to knock it off his face than have any sort of conversation. Instead, she steeled herself against any sort of outward emotion or even the inkling of regret in making her presence known. "You're the one who's been following me."

She nodded, winked and took another pull on her beer. "Took you long enough, Skippy. Must be gettin' soft."

Her crimson eyebrow quirked with the challenge. He only yanked the chair her feet had been resting on, taking his seat. Her boots hit the floor with a resolute thud, but Mae didn't seem to mind as much as Dean wanted. "Where's Sam?"

Exactly how long had she been following them? Instinct aside, he had no real proof until now that anyone had been, and he wasn't certain how much she knew. As far as she should have known, Sam was happily grinding away back at college, happy to be done with hunting and his family. That's where things had been the last time they'd spoken. Even stalking them, she couldn't possibly know everything that had happened since their dad went missing.

"Sam?" Dean asked.

"Yeah Sam. You know, unusually tall guy, floppy hair, possibly your brother? Sam."

It was almost hard not to tease him. It made things worse, she knew. If possible, his eyes got greener as she took the first swipe. "I know who Sam is."

"Way to go, champ! Everyone must be so proud of you."

Dean wasn't sure what he wanted to do to her. Logically, he knew he shouldn't take the bait. She was trying to pester him, he was certain that was part of her ploy. Although, he couldn't quite figure out why. Why was she here now? If she had been following him, how long? If she was following him, then why? And why, unless she had completely forgotten the past few years, would she contact him again? It was best not to think about it.

Focus, he reminded himself. "Do you ever shut up?"

She was a bit surprised that even her gentle prodding made him snap a bit. Those lips curved more. Her smile was perpetual but hollow. "I haven't even started. We've barely even made it through one round. I guess I thought you'd want to throw down."

Anger tinged any enjoyment he might have found between a healthy back and forth. When that happened, they were both stubborn enough to fight over nothing. "Let's not and say we did."

Their verbal jabs came fast but he would have much rather just knocked her on her ass. "Oh Dean, I expect so much more from you."

"What are you doing here?"

She spread her hands wide before placing them behind her head. "It's a free country, for the time being. So, I'm having a drink. Now see, I don't wonder why you'd be here. You, I'd expect you here. Clearly I've been known to slum it from time to time."

He looked her up and down. "That's not a surprise."

"Unfortunately for you…" she paused, a sudden stumbling of the heart she had fought so hard to harden. The conversation, the situation, it lacked a playfulness she knew was lost. In this close proximity, her boldness failed her a bit.

"What?"

"Nothing. You know, I'm pretty sure you're a last call kind of guy in a place like this."

Mae's smile was slow but wide and he realized while there might have been mirth from any other person saying something like that, he saw the falter. And he tried to gauge if he pushed further to a real fight or if he should let it go. It wouldn't take much, he thought. But he wasn't sure what that fight would look like or what would come from it. "You suck." He said, backing off for now.

"Sure, but never on a first date."

A smirk touched his face, despite all his control. He offered back a halfhearted 'Prude.'

"So really where's Sam?"

Her voice was softer now. Mae propped her folded arms on the table and offered him the first real smile of the evening, the kind that reached her stone blue eyes. She would try her best to be genial. There was no point in making an awkward situation worse, she told herself. She could stay or leave at her own volition. Not that leaving was an option for her.

"Back at the room." Dean said, drawing her back to the conversation.

"Oh, okay." A frown pulled at the edges of his mouth.

"What? You disappointed it's just me?"

With a shrug, she tipped back the rest of her beer, playing with the now empty bottle a moment. "I've certainly been more excited to see…well, almost one. Besides, it's been a while since I've seen Sam. How's he doin'?"

"He's great. Livin' the dream. What do you think?" He hadn't meant it to come out so harshly, but Mae wasn't exactly in the position to jump back into their lives, his life. He wasn't sure what she knew and what she was trying to get information out of him on. Or why. The why was more concerning. He hadn't imagined a scenario where they ever spoke again.

Another shrug pulled at her slim shoulders. "Don't know. But this isn't exactly his scene." She sighed, "Listen, I'm just tryin' to… make nice, okay?"

Dean clucked his tongue. "Sweetheart, I got plenty of nice and if I were looking for more, you wouldn't be the first stop. What I wanna know is what you're doin' here?"

Hands parted in surrender and innocence, the smile she gave was beyond fake. "Girl can't go to a bar now, have a drink?"

His laugh was skeptical as he took another drink. "You don't just show up places Mae. And I don't think you've changed so much that all of the sudden, you're cruisin' bars lookin' for a hook up. Let alone a bar in the same town I'm in. So why are you here?"

She bristled against his tone. "Same reason you're here I guess."

"And that is?"

A chuckle radiated in the back of her throat before she leaned in closer. To an outsider it might even look intimate, but he knew she was bracing for a fight. "You tell me."

Truth be told, they did not have a clear reason there were here. Not yet anyway. Sam had found some strange reports of several deaths that did not seem to be normal but no hard evidence that there was a job here. They planned to look into it in the morning.

For now, they needed the rest, needed the break. But finding Mae in the same place, at the same time, made him wonder. Did Mae have some inside information or lead? How badly did he want to get to the bottom of this? Right now, not bad enough to work the same case with Mavis.

At his lack of reply, she huffed. "This has been fun an' all but I think I've had just about enough."

Mae knew this was a mistake from the beginning. She couldn't even pinpoint the reason she agreed to this in the first place. This was a favor she didn't owe, and it seemed like Sam and Dean could handle things together just fine. They didn't need her to babysit. She didn't think they were handling anything major enough to merit a third set of hands. After this brief interlude, she was pretty sure she didn't want to shake up her world again to hunt with them.

A fraction before he could state the same though and she stood, pulling her battered coat off the back of the chair but not bothering to put it on. As excruciating as it was to sit on the sidelines, tailing the brothers and keeping out of sight might have been easier. She was going to need more patience than she thought she could ever have if she was going to honor this particular request.

Even when they were on the best of terms, Dean Winchester could annoy her quicker than any other person, over the smallest things too. The little voice in her head told her though that this wasn't about being annoyed. She knew what it was about and was trying to distract and distance herself from it as much as she could.

If she focused only one the job, she gauged that the boys didn't know what they were hunting yet, not on this job and certainly not the bigger picture. That much was clear. Not that it mattered if they knew or not, knowing what she knew was enough to bring her out here, despite hating that she just had to come out from the shadows to see him.

A dissatisfying mixture of anger and foolishness roiled in her belly and threatened to claw at her throat. She felt stupid for even trying. What did she think she would accomplish? Had she thought that time would have bridged the gap that had had grown between them and the unpleasantness of the past? She nearly laughed out loud. If there was one thing the Winchester men were champions at was holding on to past ordeals.

The rather swift footfalls behind her told her Dean had followed her out of the bar. She didn't look back working on this assumption. If it were some barfly, she wasn't worried; she could drop him in a matter of seconds. Hell, kicking some strange dude's ass would have been a decent outlet for her feelings. But she wasn't about to give Dean the satisfaction of catching her peering over he should to check to see if he followed her.

"Damn." She heard wistfully from behind her, closer than before, as she approached her car and slid the key into the door lock.

Dean was in love, in lust. Nothing could truly come between him and his first love, but he could still admire another pretty face. It just wasn't fair. Crossing the distance between he took in the beauty of the automobile. Hating Mae would have been simple if he didn't actually like her so much. And that car, that car did not help his fondness for her. "C'mon."

He muttered to himself, running a hand over the slick finish of the classic car.

"What?" Mae asked with a simper on her lips.

"1968 Mustang 390 Fastback. How awesome is that? Mae, this is just, it's… a thing of beauty."

Her smile turned. She had to agree. It has been one of her favorite cars since she could remember but she shrugged, worrying her keys in her hand. "McQueen."

Dean's smile got bigger. He knew how to pick 'em, he thought, as his eyes left the car and met the girl. For a moment, everything else "Highland green and all. I think I'm in love."

"Watch the drool, Deany boy. I just had her washed"

"You gotta let me drive 'er."

A bark of laughter brought his eagerness right to a halt. "You're outta your ever lovin' mind man."

"Mae. C'mon."

Her eyebrow turned in a disbelieving arch. "Mae, c'mon is not an argument that's held sway over me for at least 10 years not. Besides, a few minutes ago you told me you had enough nice."

He opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn't find the words. She was right, this moment was small compared to the hard emotions he was twisted around when it came to her. All he managed to do was open his mouth and close it again.

Mae beat him to it once again. "Well, sweetheart, you won't have to worry about what I'm doin' here because I'm leaving." she quipped.

With mixed emotions, he watched the redhead get in her car and back out of the parking space. He would miss her, he realized, and he would particularly miss that beauty of a car as he watched her drive off, toward the highway.

He wasn't sure why the hell she was making an appearance in his live now, what could have brought her here, and he wondered how the hell he could deal with the churn of thoughts that seeing her again brought up.

Fuck, he thought, he did not need to have her show up in his life again.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

* * *

With a yawn, Mavis stretched her arms over her head. It was too late for a sane woman to be up, let alone going through the details of these deaths. It was always worse when it was kids and that was something she would never get comfortable. Sure, digging up corpses was not uncommon in this line of work but knowing that kids were being hunted would always bother her.

But the act of researching, trying to pull together a working theory was therapeutic, almost meditative. Following Sam and Dean was a bit infuriating. She'd been asked to look after then, make sure they were safe and intervene if necessary. This certainly wasn't a necessary intervention. She knew as much. But God, trailing behind them was such a bore. It was surely not the best use of her time or efforts. She was a hunter, not a babysitter.

At the same time, she felt like she was being played somehow. It wasn't the first time since she'd received that call and the request that she wondered what the deeper reason was. Sam might have been out of the game for a while, but Dean wasn't. She was pretty sure that Dean could have handled most of what had gone down on his own. Mostly.

Still, even for all her doubt, all her annoyance at sitting on her hands during the past weeks, she hadn't given up. She could have, she knew. She could have let this one go and pick back up on the job she was actually interested in. This was the first time, in a long time, she had any kind of trail. The longer she sat on Sam and Dean without knowing the end game of why, the colder the trail went.

And yet, she did have a case she could go after, here and now. At least she was a little closer to stopping it. For now, looking at the clock, she decided she should catch a few hours of sleep. She could be good to go after she had an hour or two under her belt. Mae frowned. She had intended to stay in the same motel as the boys but after her interlude with Dean, she didn't feel confident or comfortable enough to do that and she ended up on the other side of the small town.

That made it harder to follow them, although they were taking few if any precautions or steps to cover their trail. They weren't exactly subtle. She had an inkling that they hadn't pinned down what they were dealing with yet, but she could be wrong. She could only hope the duende theory she had in her mind was more than what Sam and Dean had. At least then, she could be one-step ahead of them. If Dean thought she had taken off, that would give her a leg up too.

Shutting down her computer, Mae got ready for bed. She set her alarm for five and stripped out of her jeans and tank top to sleep in her underwear. It had been sometime since she'd missed having a real bed of her own but for some reason it struck her that night. A terrible homesick feeling made her want to curl up in her own warm bed with her own soft, familiar linens. She hadn't realized how set in her ways she had become or how she'd fell into a certain style of hunting. She pushed it aside because it would be another line of motel beds in her future.

* * *

That night, thoughts of Mae kept satisfying sleep just out of reach for Dean. She showed up in his dreams and permeated his mind when he was awake. He had hoped he might get lucky that night but seeing the redhead again seemed to count as the opposite. He knew the past was the past and perhaps he should leave it there. Was there any use in picking and those healed over wounds? Nothing could really be gained, nothing undone, and what, after all would be the end goal? There was no closure that would come from it.

Nothing had really happened between them that night. They hadn't even fought exactly. Everything bubbled under the surface. He wasn't even sure if she was angry with him so much as confrontational, which wasn't out of the ordinary for her. But he was still mad, still offended. There were too many wrong turns between them over the time he had known her to figure out where things went wrong. When exactly had things gone so wrong between them?

Even before the betrayal, something had gone wrong, perhaps years before that that made her stop caring about him. He knew that had to be at the root of it, on some level. He just wasn't certain what had changed between them being in love and... everything he didn't want to think about. When had he really lost her? It was more than just that fateful night. It had to be. Because it was so out of the blue.

And at some point, the way she looked at him change. He stopped being a hero and a protector and became what she saw now. Mae had never said these things to him, but he knew it was there. Maybe she had just seen what had always been there. It didn't really matter. There was no going back, no fixing the things they had done to each other.

The fact brief appearance in his life had meant more than the 10 minutes they had spent together that evening made any impact on him was not lost on him. Now was not the time to lose his objectivity or be caught up in another life.

* * *

"Dammit!"

He took out his anger on the roof of his car with a fist. It hurt more than he would admit.

It solved nothing. Mae had still scooped them. He'd let himself believe that she would simply disappear again. It wouldn't have been the first time. Dean had hoped Mae would just leave and he could have resolved the previous night to just being a chance encounter with someone he never wanted to see again. He also realized it was stupid to assume that she would have told him anything about this.

At least, it was a small indication that there really was a job to be done here. One that probably didn't merit three hunters, he thought for a second. They could be the ones to pack it in and leave this to her. He and Sam had other work to do, more important than this one. Probably.

But then, he could have sworn she winked at him before she got in her car. "I'm really starting to hate that woman."

He had no doubt that Mae had already questioned the victim's parents and not knowing the guise she'd used, Dean was reluctant to make them go over the story again. It would be far too suspicious to have another set of cops or FBI agents drop in moments after the last one left. Besides, he was more focused on Mae right then and what the hell she was up to.

"C'mon." He said to Sam as he got back in the car.

"What's going on? Who's that?"

Sam didn't think Dean was exactly making sense. Why were they leaving? Didn't they have a job to do? Was Dean really going to chase after that woman rather than work? Who was she anyway? His brother cast him a strange glance as if he could not understand why he wasn't tracking his train of thought. "Dude, you don't recognize her?"

Sam tried to think, did he recognize her? Who would he and Dean both know? He was beginning to suspect that the redhead was not just some tail his brother was after. "The woman I saw from across the street for like 5 seconds? No. You do?"

"It's Mavis."

"Mavis? Mavis Singer?"

"How many women named Mavis do you know?"

Okay yeah, Mavis wasn't a particularly popular name but how was he supposed to recognize a woman he hadn't seen in over, what 6 years? It wasn't as if he and Mae stayed pen pals when she'd left. The woman might have held a passing resemblance to the girl they knew all those years ago. It couldn't be Mae, it was just too strange.

"What's Mae doing here?" Sam asked.

"Well," Dean said starting up the car, "I guess we're gonna find out."

* * *

The brothers weren't too far behind her but far enough behind that he noticed her car in the parking lot of the cafe, already parked. Finding the slim woman waiting for them annoyed Dean. Mae wasn't hard to spot, even without the iconic car. She looked surprisingly prim with her neat tidy bun and charcoal grey suit. Even without whatever fake id Dean knew she had on her, she looked like an FBI agent and that had very likely been who she'd pretended to be. He held no doubt that she could easily slide into that roll, as she could almost any other.

"Good to see you Sam."

She offered hello in that all too cheery tone as the two joined her at the table. Sam smiled; sitting across from her while Dean sat next to her in the booth, trapping her. He did not intend to let her leave until he had some answers.

"Dean."

That smooth voice was still cheerful but held something cutting as her eyes slid over to him.

"Good to see you too, Mae. I thought Dean was crazy when he thought he saw you at that house."

Her smiled didn't move but her eyes weighed heavily on Dean. She didn't say anything, but the short haired man shifted under her sideways gaze. "I wouldn't count crazy out but, in this case, he was right. I think I've figured out what this thing is."

Mae said, leaning in a conspiring manner, lowering her voice so as not to draw attention. Dean snorted is disbelief. "You figured it out? Last night you didn't even know there was a job here."

A few moments ago, he was worried that the redhead was going to give away the secret that he'd already known she was in town. Then he went and shoved his foot in his mouth. Not that it needed to be a secret, but Sam would certainly feel like Dean should have let him know one of their old friend's was in town.

"Last night?" His brother questioned.

"Dean and I ran into each other last night."

Sam's eyes shifted to his brother, yet Dean's face remained neutral. "He didn't mention anything."

"Well," Mae shrugged, "It wasn't a big deal."

There was a certain animosity between the tow, but Sam couldn't tell if it was over something that happened the previous night or not.

"As I recall you were going to head out of town."

Those hazel eyes of Dean's had moved to stare her down intently as he spoke. "I decided there was something here and you might need a hand."

That all too familiar twist of annoyance started in her gut again. Mae could be patient but all of that disappeared around Dean and she had a feeling the same thing happened to him. It was like a chemical reaction to each other.

"We don't need your help."

At least he was sure on that much. They weren't green hunters and in the few months he'd been hunting with his brother again, they'd only gotten better. Sam attempted to defuse again. "Dean—"

"No Sam, it's alright. Dean probably has this all but wrapped up, right big boy?"

He would have liked to shake that blasted woman right then and there. At the very least, he had hoped to say something witty or cutting. "We have some leads." He lied.

"Good. Me too. Maybe we'll meet up on the way."

Mae's face was calm, even her pretty blue eyes didn't show the sparks of competition like Dean's did. That seemed somehow more dangerous.

"Hey wait. Why can't we all work together on this?"

Sam asked, once again having to be the voice of reason and stop whatever pointless argument Dean and Mae were trapped in. "You wanna work with her? Fine, then work with her."

Dean finally turned back to look at his brother, the traitor. Mae caught his arm as he slid away from her. That might have done it, sent him right over the edge if the woman's touch wasn't so light. "Sam's right. I have information you need, and I wouldn't say no to a little assistance either. Duendes can be tricky sons of bitches."

As if to stay in character, Dean scoffed. "You need help with a goblin?"

Mae clenched her teeth as Dean sat back down. God, how she hated asking for help, particularly from Dean. It wasn't that he was a bad hunter. In fact, she liked hunting with him. He was just so damn haughty sometimes.

Someone owed her big time she thought. "I don't need it, but I'd like it."

It was just about as humble as she could get right then. "How can you be so sure this is El duende? It's a little far north isn't it?"

The tables had turned, and Mae didn't like being on the defensive or the satisfied little twinkle in Dean's eyes. "Oregon is no San Pedro but stranger things have happened. Besides I found this."

She paused to retrieve the camera from her messenger bag. Tuning it on, she scrolled through the pictures until she found the right one. It was petty but she felt that twist of annoyance dull a bit at Dean's irritated puff of breath when she passed the device to his brother first, despite his best efforts to catch a view of the photo over her shoulder.

"Um… what it is?"

Sam asked as he rotated the camera to perhaps discover what she thought was cold, hard proof.

"It's red clay." Mae said, as if that explained it all.

"Red clay?" Sam questioned skeptically.

"The way the lore goes, when a duende falls asleep, he turns to red clay. They're also purported to live in the walls of kids' rooms." Dean said.

Sam passed the camera to his brother, but his eyes were on Mae. Dean watched her face morph with admiration.

"That's right. I'm actually impressed."

"Yeah, you know I actually know what I'm doing here Mae."

"I never said you didn't. So, you run up against one before?"

Genuine interest colored her tone now as she shifted into business mode and Dean went with it. It was almost bizarre to Sam watching the two. You could go insane, he thought, tracking what exactly was going on with them as they bounced back and forth between emotions.

"No, we thought it was one once, but it turned out to be a different flavor of goblin."

Her eyebrow arched with amusement. "Mmm… goblin flavor? That sounds less than appetizing."

Dean had to laugh; sometimes he liked her too much for his own good. "Just to be sure, we should check at the other houses. We also need to narrow down the area where this thing's lair is otherwise, we'll just be spinning our wheels searching miles and miles of forest."

"So where do we start, sweetheart?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

* * *

Mavis was good. She was professional, to say the least. At least for the profession she was pretending to have. She acted very much the special agent. So much so that if he didn't know her, Sam would have pegged her for FBI or law enforcement. He thought it suited her much better than it did his brother or himself.

Mae kept and oddly calming face, a relaxed but firmed visage. Those big eyes however, they were the thing that made Sam think she could be a little too young or a little too soft. Maybe she was the soft sort. It had been years since they'd spent any concrete time together. So maybe she was a kinder, gentler hunter. Her eyes seemed to hold some sort of power that made even miserable people feel more at ease. Just like it had for the first two sets of parents they had visited and this one last on the list.

He was relieved that he didn't need to be the one who got people to open up. It was sort of fun not being 'good cop' for once. Not that the situation called for 'bad cop'. Although he suspected that even if it did, Mae would do it better. Maybe she was simply a very good actor. This might have been the act and bad cop might come more naturally to her. Being a lone hunter, and a woman at that, could very well leave her being much more hardened than he was giving her credit for. As kind as her face was, he knew she probably wasn't all that sweet and tender.

But real or fake, their sensitivity was the right angle for a grieving mother. Much better than Dean's which could seem somehow artificial. It wasn't that his brother was unsympathetic, he was, he just didn't always have a way with emotions. Mae on the other hand guided the mother through the fear and sadness to the answers they needed without even betraying that they were looking for a monster. It would have been weird to see her act otherwise.

Even as kids Mae had been able to make people believe what she wanted them to believe. It had always been kind of fun to watch. Back when they had been partners in crime, Mae had been able to get his tough as nails father to give in to her requests. An extra slice of cake or staying up past their bed time, she usually got her way. Dean claimed he had a puppy dog look. Well, he'd learned it from Mae. But, as she claimed, she only used her power for good. Mostly.

He had to hide a smile as he thought back on the past. There had been some fun times occasionally, particularly when he and Mae would conspire on something. Even with the trouble they could have gotten into, she was level headed, despite all the similarities she shared with his brother.

"Ma'am, any details you might have for us about where Anne-Marie or any of the children in the neighborhood might have been playing or exploring would be extremely helpful. Any… local legends that might attract young children?"

There it was. Sam had marveled the first time, watching her work but now was back mostly because he knew she didn't need him to jump in. The mother sniffed and Mae offered a kind smile along with a tissue. "Take your time, ma'am."

Their interviews didn't hold some kind of magic key to the puzzle. They didn't leave with much new information. Every town had its 'local legends' that weren't always founded in the supernatural. A strange old woman became a witch and a dark old forest hid a multitude of stories. Nothing that suggested the duende. But all the kids had been playing in or around the woods. Sam glanced at his watch, knowing Dean was probably crawling out of his skin but gave the man credit for not calling him every 5 minutes to check on them. Mae let out a tiny puff of breath as they got back to her car.

"We're gonna need a map." She said, resting her arms on the roof a moment.

Sam gave a little laugh. "I think we have one back at the motel."

"No, I mean a topographic map. We have to get a better idea of the terrain."

"Uh, why?"

"Because, we're going to have to search the woods. We know what we're looking for, we need to know where and what to expect."

"The woods?" Sam's face was more than skeptical as if she had told a joke he couldn't quite believe. "Mae, this whole place is woods."

"I read the tourism brochures too. Doesn't change the fact that it's where we need to go. Unless you've got a better idea."

And Sam's face scrunched with thought, eyes darting a moment. Finally, he relented. "We're gonna need a map."

* * *

The television was on, but Dean wasn't watching it. He was spending the majority of his time shifting his impatience between his un-moving cell phone and the passing minutes of his wristwatch. Mae and Sam should have been back by now. Canvassing the victim's families never took this long when he and Sammy worked a case, right? Mae should have gone to the morgue; she was the one with the closest thing to a medical background. He wasn't sure if she had ever used her EMT training, but it was useful information to have and know in their line of work. But he wasn't about to let her know something he didn't.

Knowing Mae, she was probably sitting on the hood of his car, waiting for him to find her smirking with that smug smile on her face. Bitch. He got up and paced. Well, little Miss Smart Ass had another thing coming. He would not give her the satisfaction of allowing her to think he was anxious. Or perturbed. Or even remotely interested in her. Not that he wanted to be with her. Sam went with her because he also knew he couldn't be civil with her alone for that long.

God, he wanted to be with her. It was madness, shear madness. He was some kind of masochist wanting to spend any amount of time with a woman who drove him to the edge of insanity. It had only been what, two days? After three years and a whole hell of a lot of unexpressed anger, she was back. For two days. He would have rather had someone file down his teeth than think about her.

Mavis Singer had occupied a large part of his life once and he had assumed she would always be around. When she left the first time, he understood. He would have rather she stay, and he had to admit, he thought about finding a way to stay with her. He'd been 18 at the time and could have, perhaps should have branched out on his own but he couldn't very well leave Sam and his dad alone. He had no real choice but to agree that it was best she stop hunting and go her own way.

He thought maybe they could keep things going but after a few calls back and forth, he realized that Mae wasn't going to change her mind. At least that he understood, considering how badly she'd been hurt. Anyone might have made the same choice to move on and start over. But less than a year later, she did come back. Recalling how hopeful that made him feel then, how hopeful it still strangely made him feel, he felt foolish again. But that liaison lasted only a week before she left. Again, he could almost understand that.

Mae being happy wasn't something he'd wanted to stop. He had only wanted, hoped, to be a part of it. Because she made him happy. She made the job feel easier and she made him feel like a better person. If he stopped thinking about their history there, it just felt bitter sweet.

But then he saw her again and his foolish heart thought maybe she was there for him. Even if she wasn't, even if she was just there to get back into the game, it should have been a happier reunion than it was. From the start, she was distant and evasive, almost as if she didn't like him in any way, shape or form. She didn't act as if they were good friends or if they had. He still didn't know what had changed. But then...well, he wasn't ready to keep thinking about it. About what he had seen. When they parted ways then, it wasn't bittersweet. It was painful. That was the same thing he felt now. That time, less than the time they'd spent together now had brought that sharp blade of reality harshly against his throat.

Dean closed his eyes. He was _not_ going to rethink this whole thing. He was going to stay angry with her. He was going to spend his time thinking about how she was screwing up the case or how he would work it better. He could almost keep his brain quiet with those lies. Despite the veritable tornado of memories and feelings in his mind, he wouldn't show it to her. He wouldn't let her know that his thoughts of her wove back and forth like a drunk driver through his mind. Loving her, hating her all mainly left him with an uncomfortable dissatisfying ball in the pit of his stomach.

A sharp sigh escaped his lips as he heard the distinctly metallic clang of a car door followed closely by another. Finally! They took their sweet ass time. "So…?"

He almost jumped down Sammy's throat the moment his little brother opened the door. Dean wan anxious but only because he had to sit and hang back. His part of the job hadn't taken long. The remains that had been found weren't many, but all of the kids had been missing toes. And that lent more than enough credence to Mae's theory. He had wanted her to be wrong out of pride. Although, part of him had to admit he was a little proud that she was so as good as she was. "What did you find?"

"Aside from more of those weird looking mud people imprints? Not much. Mae has a theory."

"Of course, she does. She's a fuckin' answer key." Dean scoffed at the notion of the redhead's superior hunting skills.

"Dude what is it with you and her?"

She wasn't even in the room this time and his brother had already ramped up the antagonism... or whatever it was. "Nothing alright? Just… drop it."

"Yeah sure but if you one of you ends up killing the other, I am not helping get rid of the body."

Dean flashed that enigmatic wide smile of his. "Sure, you will."

Sam lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. "Where is Mae?"

Sam cast a glance over his shoulder towards the green mustang. Mae was buried in the hatch, her long legs the only partially visible part. "She's bringing in supplies."

Dean leaned to the side as if he might be able to catch a view of her. His hazel green eyes snapped back to his younger brother. "You didn't offer to help?"

It was a strange question coming from the man had spoken with bile about the woman just breaths before. "Yeah, I did. She smacked me and told me to see if you need to be changed by now."

Sam didn't mind annoying his brother just a bit with the woman's words. "Dude… I can't stand that woman. I don't know what I could have possibly done to deserve having her around again."

He paced away from his brother and the door, wondering again what the hell was taking Mae so long. "Want me to make a list?"

Oh, Dean was going to smack Sam for that. "What you're on her side now?"

"There are no sides here Dean. If you haven't noticed, Mae's just trying to work this case. You're the one who keeps flying off the handle."

Genuine surprise colored his features and he paced back to Sam. "Me? She does it too. You have a thing for her Sammy? That why you can't see just how annoying she is?"

The elder Winchester was swinging wild and Sam knew he should calm him down before Mae did come to the room. "No! It's clear to me now that you're both crazy and if you don't kill each other, I just might. I don't get why you can't just accept her help."

"We don't need her help." Dean sulked but Sam wasn't about to point that out.

"Maybe we don't but with it, we got to an explanation pretty quick and I don't know about you, but I like working with her. She's good. I enjoy not getting weird looks from people when we go out. She lends credibility to this whole thing."

Dean hit back with his least childish argument, he would claim. "She does not. Why exactly are you so buddy buddy with the enemy now Sammy?"

"For the last time, Mae isn't the enemy. She's another hunter. And since when is she the enemy. She was and is a friend. Now I don't know what happened between you two while I was off a school, but she seems willing to let it go, why can't you?"

Dean didn't want to rehash it on his own, let alone with his brother. Maybe he would give him some explanation about what had changed between the two of them. It wasn't just his imagination playing tricks on him when he thought back. But he just wasn't ready to say the word aloud. "Did she tell you?"

From Sam's perspective, Mae and Dean didn't just act alike; they were two halves of the same whole. But he could come up with a number of reasons that they would end up fighting or couldn't make whatever kind of relationship there were trying to have work. "No, we just did the job. But you don't seem to be able to stop talking about how much you can't stand her."

He raked a hand through his hair. There was no way he was going to get in to this, particularly with his brother. "You… you have no idea what happened okay? So, don't act like you know because whatever you think happened, I promise you it isn't what's happened."

"Whatever I worked out? What does that mean?"

"You think I slept with her and then… treated her like all the rest?"

Sam didn't want to say it aloud but that was what he assumed happened. He only shrugged his agreement. "Well it's not what happened at all."

"So then—"

Whatever Sam was going to say was cut short by the clank of the trunk shutting. The taller Winchester tucked into the room, making way for Mae.

"What the hell is that?" All of Dean's attention was on the willowy redhead as she dropped the heavy looking bag beside the table.

"It's good to see you too Sparky." Her reply didn't do anything to assuage what she would call his 'cross armed pissy-ness'. A soft huff preceded her answer. "Supplies."

Mae's tone was crisp, just this side of standoffish. Sam could recognize it now as her 'working' tone, the one she used with a certain air of authority. The younger brother assumed that under other circumstances, namely the absence of Dean, her back might not have been so stiff and her face might not have been so tight. They hadn't spent a great deal of time together, but she wore her feelings about Dean on her sleeve.

She crouched, unzipping a side pocket of the bag and retrieving the map and some markers along with her trusty notebook. Setting them on the table, she straightened.

"Supplies?" Dean asked with a sarcastic laugh. "What, are you moving in here?"

Her eyebrow arched as her eyes passed around the motel room. "Here? I have a little more class than that."

That was it. Dean snapped. "Class? You? Lemme tell you something about class little miss-"

"It's for the hunt." Sam interrupted, stationing himself between the pair. They definitely needed to kill something, and he was just hoping it turned out to be the goblin rather than him or each other.

Jaw tight, Dean stared at her a moment longer before backing down. "The hunt? You mean you two geniuses know where this thing is?"


	4. Chapter 4

The Mercy of Fortune

After a number of requests, I'm reposting the revised version of The Mercy of Fortune!

Summary: The Winchesters meet up with a fellow hunter who comes bearing some interesting parts of their past. Takes place after Bloody Mary but will be AU. This story makes more sense, the more you read.

Disclaimer: So yeah, all I own is Mavis.

* * *

Chapter 4

Mae's notes were detailed. He was pretty sure they were. Everything was coded in strange scrawling shorthand he couldn't decipher so there was a chance it was just random gibberish. Dean watched as she diligently transferred the data that she had collected of the past two days to the map. Points of the attacks were in one color, the houses in another, the places the bodies and/or parts had been found in yet another and lines that connected them. One highlighted circle encompassed all that data.

Mae was in the process of narrowing that down based on the area most likely to contain caves, in addition to the ones that were already marked. There was something compelling about. Dean had to admit he was intrigued. Her skill was clear and something one might call pride welled up in him. How his brain and heart could wrap around her like this, was more than confusing.

The clearing of his throat brought Mae's attention to him. Question was etched on hers but she shuffled it back when she saw the same thing on his face. "Uh, duendes typically hold up in caves. So, I've tried to narrow the search area down geographically but it's still more miles than the three of us can cover in a practical span of time."

She sighed and Dean saw the first sign of frustration with this case as she raked a hand through her hair before yanking it up and pinning it back in place. He hid his smile. "Frankly," She continued, "I don't understand how this thing moves."

That smile finally curved at his lips and that caused her to frown.

"What?" Defensiveness washed over her at the quirk of his lips. "You're glad about that?"

"Whoa, hey… no. You were just… you think out loud. It's kinda cute."

"Cute?" Her face turned up in something akin to disgust but then her features mellowed after a moment. "Whatever Dean."

A sigh passed out of her body, making the tension she held less formidable. "Maybe you could take a look?"

"Yeah, sure. Anything."

Dean hoped his face didn't show surprise at her request. A quick swipe of his hand over his mouth was a vain attempt to hide it as he moved to her side of the table. Taking an analytical look at the map, he leaned over it framing the paper between his hands. Hazel eyes roamed over the area. Her markings were less confusing from this angle than he assumed they would be. But his thoughts turned right back to the woman standing suddenly all too close to him.

There had been something in her tone when she asked for help. It wasn't reluctance which given their interactions he thought that if she could even bring herself to ask for his help it would be full of resistance. He thought, and maybe it was his imagination, perhaps he heard some attitude of respect. Maybe she did respect him.

Well, he didn't _not_ respect her. Okay, he could say it or rather think it, he did respect her. At least in this regard. No, he wasn't going to think about that now. He pushed it down as he cleared his throat again. "So explain to me what's going on."

His fingers tapped on the well-worn notebook of hers. He watched her go a bit wide eyed for a moment, color draining from her already pale face as she stared down at the notebook. Dean didn't know that what she was actually looking at was but she had caught her first look at the ring he still wore. A quick pain clutched her heart for a moment yet she was still unsure what it meant, if it meant anything or if it was just a reflex sort of thing. "Mae?"

She shook her head and tired to refocus. "Um yeah." She leaned in, one arm sliding under his to touch on one of the little red dots and the other hand tapped on a scribble in the notebook. "Okay. This one is the most recent abduction site,"

That slender finger slid down one of the blue lines until she reached the green dot. "This is where the little girl lived."

Her hand on the notebook traveled to the scribbles just below that.

"Why do you take notes like that?" He finally asked.

"No one else can read them."

"Yeah I noticed." At the eyebrow raise, he offered Mae only shrugged.

"I'm not used to working with other people so I've never needed… I mean, c'mon the whole 'psychopath murder wall' thing that we do is bad enough for someone to find. The notes don't look better. Besides, you think I'm crazier with it so maybe I could get out of something with a plea of insanity."

Dean would give her that one. A hunter's notebook could be a godsend but it never looked good to authority types. Dean looked at the papers on the table in front of him but his eyes were on the girl. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun but red tendrils reached down to stroke her cheeks. She really was pretty, try as he might to deny that he still saw it. Any other woman who looked like her, with a wicked streak like hers, he would try to bed her in heartbeat.

However, the thought of screwing her left him cold. More accurately, it left him conflicted because he wanted more. He stood, needing a little more distance from her. He wanted an answer but now wasn't the time to ask those particular questions. He would ask the ones he was willing to deal with instead.

"How did you know about Sam's girlfriend?" Dean asked her. Or rather accused her.

His hazel green eyes narrowed and he stood there with a defiant bent to his posture. Mae looked up from her work. Dean had expected some sort of expression but her blue eyes were flat and her face impartial. She took his look in. That steely stare and cross-armed determination might have served as intimidating for most. But for her, whenever he did that all Mae could see was that awkward boy who trying to be suave attempted to give her a first kiss and ended up sticking his tongue in her eye. Right now, though she didn't see the awkward boy. She saw the man who was trying to protect his brother. "Word gets around."

"Word gets around?" He repeated, amazed that she would try to use such an evasive and ridiculous excuse. "Word gets around?"

Again he said it, just to be sure there wasn't something hidden in those three little words. "Mae, word doesn't get around okay? How the hell did you know about Jess?"

Dean's tone was low and smooth, very controlled. There was a threat laying somewhere in his words, of what she couldn't be sure. Mae knew she was walking a dangerous line with him, between truth and trust. She didn't know what he might do if she crossed it. She had made other promises, ones she didn't think she could break. Somewhat reluctantly, she replied. "I kept tabs on you and your brother. Okay?"

That was not the answer he was expecting. Check that, he didn't know what he was expecting. He had wanted an honest answer. Looking at her pleasant face now, he knew she wasn't lying. There was just a hint of embarrassment on her cheeks. "You kept tabs?"

Exasperation was quickly over taking her pledge to remain neutral. "Are you gonna repeat everything I say here?"

That was intriguing. "Why would you keep tabs on us?"

"Figure it out, Sparky."

Anger was better to go with right now, not only did make it easier to put the blame back on him but he would be expecting it. Prior to a few weeks ago, she had decided, for the last time, that she was done with the Winchesters. That just wasn't meant to be. Now they were hunting down a goblin together. It was small potatoes but it was a job that needed to be done and it served her purpose. She stood now too up and stalked out of the motel room, slamming the door with more force than necessary.

Dean sat, considering what she said. Had Mavis really been following what they'd been doing? He wouldn't put it past her but... well he wouldn't have gone looking for her and he had thought the feeling was mutual. "Huh."

He was staring at the door as he muttered the single syllable. The woman was a pain but maybe something had changed. She seemed different somehow. Dean couldn't put his finger on it. He wasn't about to apologize to her for being skeptical. Hell, he still was but that inkling of guilt crept up his spine. It wouldn't do either of them any good.

She would get over it. Not wanting to pace and brood over her, he sat down. Still, his thoughts didn't stray far from the redhead. The thought of her checking up on him over the last three years quelled some of his anger regarding the way she'd left. Maybe it was possible Mae cared more than she let on. It made his ego swell just a bit more.

* * *

At that moment, she wished she still smoked. A cigarette would control her nerves quite nicely. However, it had been years since she smoked, years since she had genuinely wanted to pick the habit up again. Of course, it would be Dean who made her want to start. It wasn't anger that coursed through her veins. It was more like having an itch you knew you couldn't scratch and the more you ignored it, the worse it felt. Dean had reached full body irritation.

It wasn't in his words, not entirely. It was because of the look in his eyes, the way he sat, stood, laughed, all of it. It was all some devious plan, surely it was. So she took a few deep breaths. She was not going to let Dean get to her. More than he already had. Mae scoffed. Even Dean had to know that he annoyed her. She knew she annoyed him. Maybe they should just have sex, she thought.

It wouldn't make anything better but she would certainly enjoy the release. It was entirely possible she could convince him that this was all rooted in a decade of pent up sexual frustration. At least then, the way he got under her skin might not bother her as much. Another sigh left her lips. There was no easy way out of this. Sex would undoubtedly make it worse and double the weirdness. If they could just focus on the case, things would be fine.

Mae returned to the room only after Dean thought he should probably go after her. Any lack of control was gone from her lissome frame and her pale face was passive once again. Taking her seat, she grabbed her notes, double checking that she hadn't miss that one crux that would help unravel the whole case. She couldn't help but wonder where the younger Winchester was or how the hell long it took a grown man to buy food.

As much as she would have rather had Dean go, they would have ended up with beer, chocolate and slim jims; a combination that would likely kill them mid way through the hike. At least Sam had some idea that they might need real food. And perhaps more importantly but more embarrassing, she needed Dean's analytical eyes. He was a damn good strategist and try as she might she couldn't deny he had a skill for pulling off a plan.

Dean once again bent over examining the map. He only glanced up at her before his attention returned to the work before him. "Okay so I looked over Dad's notes and he thinks these things take their hunting pretty far from home."

"So then," Again, she stood and moved to the other side of the table, "maybe we should start here?"

She tapped the map on a rocky area likely to contain caves but far from the major grouping of deaths and kidnappings. Dean nodded before turning his gaze up at her. "Ain't like we got a lot of other ideas."

"I'm good with it. Let's head out first thing then."

Mae was set and despite his protest of whatever ungodly hour 'first thing' meant to her, he was going to be the bigger person and not argue. "Listen about before—"

Mae cut him off. She didn't want to start something else and if they kept talking about anything other than this case, they'd come to blows."It was nothing."

"Okay but I just want to say-" Her eyes were sharper, more dangerous when she looked at him this time.

"Seriously are you girling out on me here? I don't want to talk this out. There's nothing to talk about."

Pressing his lips together, Dean stood to his full height. He would have tried to glare her down if he thought she would do anything but laugh. "Fine, whatever."

"Good. I should get back to my room. Whenever Sam gets back, you should both get some sleep."

He couldn't help himself. "Is that an order, Mavis?"

Her eyebrow quirked but a laugh was just behind those blue grey eyes. "Do whatever you want Dean. I don't care but I'm going full force tomorrow, I'm not gonna let you slack off."

"You know you could stay here."

He wasn't sure why he offered it. He didn't want her to stay with them but for some reason he couldn't stop himself. By the look on her face, Dean could tell she hadn't expected the proposal either.

"Uh, yeah. No… even if… no." Mae's usual quick wit failed her so she scrambled for the words. "All my things are back at the motel. I'm just gonna go back there."

"Yeah good idea."

Mae rolled her eyes and gave him a 'you're crazy' shrug as she picked up her bag, collecting her supplies she needed to take with her. "And I mean early Dean. Tell Sam."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

* * *

Sam frowned. Mae was gone when he got back. Her car wasn't in the parking lot either. Her bag was gone. In fact, any trace of her, aside from the marked-up map and Dean's scowl, were wiped from the dingy room. Sam had to admit, he was a bit disheartened by that. He liked Mae.

His brother sat on the bed, legs out stretched but crossed at the ankle while he nursed a beer and glared down the TV. Dean hadn't even offered him a look as he set the bags down by the door. Sam gave a soft huff. "Okay out with it."

Dean didn't answer, still content to brood over the beer. Sam stepped closer to smack at one of his brother's boots, knocking them apart. Dean only raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Out with it," Sam repeated.

"Out with what?"

His younger brother's face was pulled into yet another disapproving frown. "You know what I mean. What the hell is the deal with you and Mae?"

"The deal?"

Dean was just being difficult now, Sam determined at his scoff. But the bizarre fight was just too annoying to let it drop. "Yeah, I wanna know how the two of you can go from being friends like you were to you not trusting her at all."

Sam knew there was something just under the cover Dean was trying and failing to put up. If his brother would just tell him... Dean sighed. "I trust her. I just don't like her."

There was a strange duality in Dean's statement, but it rang true to his brother. True but still pretty crazy. "Dean that doesn't even make sense. Just tell me why you can't get alone with her."

Dean's resolve wavered for a second before he deflected the request again. "I trust her to do this job, okay? She's no slouch."

"Right but this isn't about a job. What happened with the two of you?"

"You don't want to know."

Sam was slowly moving from annoyed to angry with the way his brother was acting on this one. The handful of years they had spent apart hadn't changed who either of them were deep down, but it had accumulated a number of secrets and private histories to which the other wasn't privy. "The hell I don't. We _are_ hunting with her. I need to know if there something up."

"She's not gonna let it get in the way, okay? I know her. Mae's a professional."

There again was Dean's faith that Mae wouldn't let them down. Sam trusted her too, they'd spent too many years together not to. "Okay well what about you?"

"You're saying I'm not?"

If Dean thought he could get out of this by starting a different argument, he was dead wrong. "Dude I'm saying that you're acting weird around her and not because you're figuring out how to sleep with her. She's got you tied up in knots. Why?"

Sam took a seat on the other bed, forearms resting on his knees as he looked at Dean with those puppy dog eyes.

"Dude you are such a girl." Dean chided.

Sam gave him 'that look', disappointment mixed with exasperation and sadness. "C'mon Dean, I'm serious. What happened between you two?"

With a shrug and another sip, Dean passed his brother a look that was supposed to tell him the conversation was over. "Nothing, okay? We got older, she moved on with her life."

"Yeah right. If she'd moved on, she wouldn't still be hunting. Besides, I remember the way things used to be, before she got hurt."

That injury. It wasn't the first time one of them had been hurt, not by a long shot but it had never been that bad. Dean could still see her bright red blood soaking her pink shirt and her pale face taking on that pallid, chalky appearance. "Yeah so do I. She spent every summer with us. She was practically our sister. Then she got hurt."

"She blames you for that?"

Sam's expression turned sympathetic towards his brother. It was clear that Dean took some sort of responsibility for the incident even though no one but the witch they had been hunting had been responsible. "Of course not. It was an accident and she knows that. I mean, she… she shouldn't have been out there. Dad was an idiot for taking her on that hunt, but it wasn't anyone's fault."

Dean never spoke ill of their father, so it was interesting to hear his brother disagree with the man. "She only came to visit us one more time after that. That was the last time I saw her… so fill me in on the details. What happened after that?"

Dean sighed. Maybe it would do him good to talk about it to someone. Then again, it affected Sam too. "What did you two… have a bad hook up or something?" Sam inquired reluctantly.

He had been wondering for some time and knowing Dean… well it could have happened. Mae was pretty but she wasn't drop dead gorgeous and she wasn't like most of the girls his brother chased after. Even back then she had been pretty, maybe a little too tall and skinny. Even so, he wasn't sure Dean would have ignored her. After all, she was only two years younger than Dean was. She was fair game in his brother's mind.

"Me and Mae having sex was not what screwed things up. Hell… it was..." Dean rubbed the back of his head. He was distinctly uncomfortable with this. There were some things he simply didn't want to confess to his brother. "Sammy, you had to have known Mae and I were messing around back then, before everything got screwed up."

Sam shrugged. "I uh… not really. I guess it makes sense. I didn't really want to think about it."

"Well trust me, _that_ , for once, is not what fucked up things. She got hurt and… I don't blame her for leaving. I don't blame her for not wanting to talk to me again because uh… I wasn't exactly the best boyfriend."

"You cheated on her?" The almost pensive look his brother had been wearing was lost when the irritation flared in his hazel eyes.

"Not really. I just… you know looking back now… I should have done things differently. I'm honestly not sure what really happened."

"Oh… I would have figured you cheated on her."

Dean frowned but attempted to hide it behind the swig of beer he took. "Dude, do you not remember Mae back then? When I was with her, I was _only_ with her. And she really was… sweet back then. I was in love with her. But no, things would have been okay if it was just her getting hurt. Hell, her getting hurt was sort of a good thing, seeing as she didn't die. I thought maybe she would try and live a normal life." A grin crept on his face, recalling the young woman he once knew. "Like she'd have any of that. A few years later, Dad and I ran into her again. It was great, working with her and I thought that maybe things would… I thought it would be like old times."

There was regret in his words now and something Sam couldn't identify. His brother was more complex than even he gave him credit. "It wasn't?"

"Not by a long shot." Dean was not budging on this one and Sam didn't know how much longer he would let him push.

"Maybe you should talk to her about it now."

Setting his now empty beer bottle on the nightstand, Dean scoffed. "She ain't the talking type. Mae just wants to do this job and get out of here. I'm okay with that."

"Yeah but-"

He held up a hand. The touchy-feely moments were over now. Whatever remained between him and Mae wouldn't change. "None of it matters, Sammy. You should just forget about it, okay? She said she would be back in the morning. Get some sleep."

Sam frowned even as his brother turned off the TV and got ready for bed.

* * *

Mae wasn't kidding when she said she would be back early. A pounding on the door woke both the Winchesters. Dean grumbled, turning his face into his pillow and uttering a cruse that Sam could not make out. Considering that the knocking was only getting louder, it was only a matter of time before she started shouting. Sam knew it was Mae. Dean probably did as well. No one else would be so loudly disturbing their sleep at 4:30. In the morning.

The younger Winchester couldn't be certain if she was doing it out of dedication or just to piss off Dean. Either way he didn't particularly care to be in the middle. Not that he had been asleep. Shuffling to the door, he hoped that she wouldn't notice. Sam had a suspicion that she knew more about him than she was letting on. On the ride back to the motel, the other day Mae's blue gray eyes would turn to him and for just a few moments, hold that pitying sadness he hated, before she covered it up. But she didn't say anything this time either and as soon as that look set in, it was gone.

It could be his imagination. Maybe Mae was just being Mae. There had been a time when they were all friends, but Dean and his Dad had screwed that up. So did Mae, he supposed. She was involved in whatever had gone down between her and his brother. It was just so hard to not see her as the sweet girl he remembered, more of a sister and confidant than anything else. He had always felt that, of any of them, Mae had the most compassion for how he felt about hunting.

Sam groaned, shuffling towards the door. He yanked it open to find a disturbingly awake Mae. She looked outdoorsy with her red hair pulled up into a high ponytail, kakis, tank top and flannel shirt all topped off with hiking boots. "It's still dark."

She slapped him on the shoulder, discovering that he wasn't wearing a shirt in that move. "Good eye, Stretch. I said morning. This is one of the few things that hunts by day light so we're taking advantage of that."

Mae pushed past the younger Winchester, giving him a once over as he shut the door. Turning back to her, even in the dark he found her frowning. She turned on the lights and clucked her tongue. "Dude I hope that's not what you're wearing. I mean, I've never hiked in my panties, but I can't imagine it's awesome."

Sam gave a cursory glance and felt slightly embarrassed to be seen by Mae in just his boxers. Mae walked right on past Sam to kick the corner of Dean's mattress. "Hey!"

She was rewarded with a muffled grunt, but he didn't get out of bed. So, Mae jumped on the bed. Kneeling now, she leaned over Dean's prone form to whisper something in his ear. Sam didn't know what she said but whatever it was brought Dean jolting up so fast, Mae barely had time to pull back and avoid his head connecting with her face. Sam couldn't recall seeing his brother moving out of bed so fast ever. It had the redhead laughing as she settled into the space Dean vacated. He shot her a scathing look before marching off to the bathroom. Mae stretched out on the bed, turning on the television. But her eyes flicked over to Sam who was still staring at her rather awkwardly.

"How's it hangin' Sammy?"

"It's Sam, Mavis." Mae's expression was neutral, but he decided to take a seat on the edge of the bed. "Are you just setting out to piss him off or is does it happen naturally?"

Her eyes fixed forward and her shoulders hitched with a shrug. "A little bit of both."

"What happened between you two, Mae?"

He looked at her with those big soft eyes that she was sure made most girls feel safe and gooey. Of course, she wasn't most girls and once again, she couldn't help but see the scrawny young boy he once was. "What did Dean tell you?"

The woman was unreadable sometimes; her pale face and almost demure features were annoyingly passive. "He didn't tell me anything. I was hoping you'd be more rational."

Now she looked back at him with mirth in her eyes. "Oh Stanford, with all your fancy psychology… well unfortunately for you, I'm not any more rational than Dean. Couldn't you tell?"

There was something about her self-deprecation coupled with that smile, even obscenely early that made him forget about being disturbed from a rare peaceful night. "You're both just gonna keep me in the dark?"

Mae shrugged. "Pretty much. Listen, Sam I'm pretty sure you'd rather not know all the details and maybe Dean and I mess with each other, but we'll get the job done when it comes down to it. You know your brother; he's a hunter through and through."

"Yeah, he said the same thing about you."

A peculiar smile crept on her face. "He did?"

"That surprises you?"

The redhead tossed her hair and propped herself up a little more. "Not really. I just figured he would keep it to himself."

The younger man chuckled a little. The two really were similar. That explained why the pair often clashed but also why they got along when they did. "C'mon, just tell me what happened?"

"You're a smart guy. You've known Dean your whole life. What do you think happened?"

She was leading him. The way Dean had spoken about her the night before even in the brief details he'd given, their relationship was important to his brother. And that was a rare thing. His brother didn't often let himself care about a woman. He knew Mae was special. "Dean loved you."

That shocked look crossed her face again. "Sam…"

The words didn't come. Whatever the eldest Winchester had told his brother was not the whole story.

"I don't know what he told you but…" She pinched the bridge of her nose. Well, Mae wasn't going to be the one to mess with things. "You're too cute for this job Sam." Mae leaned forward to pinch his cheek. "Downright adorable."

The reaction was instant and a call back to the way things used to be. "Cut it out."

Despite being an adult, finally far taller than the lanky woman, he still batted her hand away.

"Okay, also cute…" She shook her head, smiling. "You haven't really changed."

"I've changed Mae, trust me I have."

"Not in the important ways." Her expression did change now, almost unguarded as she sighed and placed a reassuring hand on his leg. "Listen, I know… I know there aren't any words that won't sound hollow but I'm sorry about your girlfriend."

"How did you know about that?"

Mae shrugged. "Just because… you're still family, even if we haven't… you're still family."

Sam didn't want to talk about it, even with Mae. "It's okay, Mae."

She leaned forward but there wasn't pity or sorrow in her eyes, just sympathy. She pat his leg before withdrawing the hand. "No, it's not. I wish I could tell you this wasn't the way to deal with it but… well it wouldn't matter anyway would it? I could hardly tell you what the right way is."

"How do you know?"

She looked away, down at her hands a moment and back up. "It's kinda weird, trying to have a life like a normal person and having all that ripped away but something that maybe, if you hadn't tried normal, maybe you could have..."

Mae found that she didn't have the words once again but Sam more than knew what she meant.

"Yeah."

It almost felt like old times, as if she was his friend and confidant again. Why couldn't they still have that? Just because Mae and Dean fought didn't mean he couldn't be friends with her. Before he could say something to that idea, she spoke. "This is weird… I think you should put pants on Sam."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

* * *

He knew it was ridiculous but when he saw Mae and Sam sitting on the bed together, his bed, Dean felt the distinct swell of jealousy. Not jealousy, he corrected. It was… well it was something else. Paranoia, perhaps? Not that he would put it past her. If any of his previous conquests would go and screw his brother, it was Mavis. His jaw clenched but he tried to hide any other sign that he felt anything about the situation. "Shower's all yours Sammy."

And the younger Winchester was glad to have it. He wasn't quite comfortable with the two of them in the same room. While staying might have averted a fight the intense lock of their eyes made it nearly impossible for Sam to stay. Mae couldn't say how long after the bathroom door shut that she and Dean held their juvenile staring contest. He had no intention of taking the high road right now. Dean removed and tossed the towel at Mae with a cocky grin on his face. He heard her disgusted utterance and his smirk grew a little more. Getting off the bed, she plucked the towel gingerly from her head.

"Is that the best you got Dean?"

"Sweetheart, you see this and have to wonder?"

God, he was a good-looking man. Not that she would tell him or even indicate that she even remotely noticed. Her steely blue eyes were locked on his, hot and hazel green. She wouldn't let her eyes wander, despite her curiosity. She was certain that he'd only gotten better looking and if her memory was accurate, he had always held quite the appeal for her. Instead, she moved forward. The only benefit of stepping closer to him was that she couldn't see his entire naked body. Nobody ever said Dean wasn't ballsy.

"Well I have firsthand experience and…" She made a disapproving sound with her tongue, "I'm still not impressed, _sweetheart_."

It might have been cliché, but he found Mae beautiful when she was angry, or at the very least annoyed. Her pale flesh flushed pink, eyes wide and dilated. Hell, it was practically foreplay. That was not an advantageous avenue to go down, least of all in his current state. He still wasn't going to let her win this round. Decided to save face, he turned from her, grabbed his jeans and tugged them on.

With his back turned, Mae took the chance to pinch the bridge of her nose in frustration. This was going to be a long ass hunt if she and Dean couldn't get this petty bickering under control. Okay, she could admit that she needed to get hers under control too. She had such a difficult time not going tit for tat with him. Every comment came off like a jab and she knew that couldn't possibly be true.

A normal person would let this go or talk about it. Not that anyone could accuse either of them being normal. When it came to facing their issues, they weren't winning any prizes there either. Her rational mind just went straight into attack mode when she was left with nothing to focus on around Dean.

Her blue gray eyes opened back up to find the man in question with a self-righteous smirk on his face having caught her moment of frustration. Her resolve to let her cogent mind take over dissolved with that cocky look. That smugness could be wiped right of his face with a solid right hook. Of course, that wasn't the solution. No solution came to her, so she fell back on an old standard. "That's what you're wearing?"

Dean finished tugging on the last of his over shirts. "Yeah, this is what I'm wearing. Got a problem with that?"

Jeans and biker boots weren't the best of hiking, but he didn't have anything else. That wasn't the point.

"Do whatever you want Dean but I'm not slowing down because you're trying to dress like a bad ass. This ain't a Sunday stroll."

She was just trying to pick a fight now and Dean Winchester wasn't one to back down from a fight. "Don't worry about me sweetheart. Worry about yourself, Mae."

"I can more than handle myself."

"Then why not do this by yourself?"

"I'd love to! You were supposed to leave. I've done all the legwork on this one. You're just along for the ride."

Mae knew she didn't have to prove anything to him or herself. That didn't matter right then. Dean had no right to claim that she was nothing but a professional. Hell, she knew it wasn't true. Sam had said as much. "I wanna make sure this thing goes down right, no little slips ups. You know all about slip ups don't you Mavis?"

Dean was entirely wrong and if his temper weren't guiding him, he wouldn't have said it. But he did. "You know I do. And as I recall, they only happen when you and your family are around."

That was true, at least to his knowledge and he had no desire to hear it. They were supposed to have protected her and clearly, they had all failed. Better to keep pushing her away. "Then maybe when you had your chance to leave you should have stayed gone."

Mae took a step closer. "That would have been easier for you, wouldn't have? Just sweep unpleasant things under the rug."

Then Dean took another. "Do you even know what the hell you're talking about? I wasn't the one who threw away a good thing."

Not unlike a deadly dance, Mae moved closer yet again until they were nearly standing on top of each other. "A good thing? As I remember it, you threw a huge fit when I wouldn't screw you the moment you saw me."

"That's not how it happened Mae. And if you haven't forgotten, you had no problem spreadin' for-"

Mae cut him off, jabbing her finger in his chest. "You don't have one damn clue about what really happened. You've assigned all these ideas and motivations around the whole thing. Trust me, you don't know."

"Then for fuck's sake tell me."

"It wasn't—" With a rough sigh, she pushed her hand through her bangs. "You know what? It doesn't matter, Dean. Think whatever you want about me, about that night. I'm tired of all this."

"Oh, you're tired of all this? You don't get to end this Mae." Dean grabbed her wrist turning her back to him. "It's not about what I think. We never had any arrangement, I get that, and you were more than welcome to mess around with anyone you wanted just not..."

Dean couldn't say the words nor could he keep the hurt out of his eyes. Mae just didn't get it. "Why not?"

"You don't get what's sick about that?"

"You're pulling some puritanical card on this?"

They stood practically chest to chest now, heat in both of their eyes. Dean tried to impose on her, but the minimal height difference didn't seem to register for her. "Listen Mae, maybe you should have tired working out your daddy issues somewhere else."

"Oh me? I need to work out my daddy issues? That's rich, fucking rich coming from you."

"What's that mean?"

"Come off it Dean. Even you can't be that dense! You've lived your whole life trying to live up to this... illusion you've built about Daddy John."

Dean gave her a disbelieving chuckle, real anger bubbling just below the surface. Mae knew better than to talk about his father that way. "My dad's a hero."

"Yeah, a hero who doesn't notice one thing you do. I may be screwed up but nothing like you Dean. You ever wonder how a real father should treat you?" Dean's jaw clenched as Mae continued. "He's not a hero Dean. He's a guy who couldn't deal with a bad situation and the man's screwed to hell. Then you just fall right in line with him. You're Daddy's little soldier. At least Sam had the balls to question the man, to go off and find his own life. You drag him back. Now I'm here. And you know what? Daddy still doesn't notice."

"Maybe you can tell because he never noticed you. Never. You know my dad never said word one about that night. Not that I could blame him. There's not much to talk about."

Mae snorted. "Then why talk about it now? Why are you so pissed off at me now? It didn't affect you at all. Of everyone who should be pissed off about it, it's me. But you don't actually care about that or me or learning what really went on."

"Maybe you were just a lousy lay."

She knew he was baiting her, but she was past caring. "You think I'm bad in bed? That's your defense? Because it ain't like you kept me interested."

It wasn't true but she wasn't going to back down, even if the fight was pointless. She knew it was. It wasn't even a fight she wanted to have. "Honey, trust me, it was you not me who made that whole arrangement… uninteresting." He shoved her and she shoved right back.

"Really because you've been the only one who's remotely complained. Everyone else has always enjoyed it."

Both of them had given in to the childishness of the argument for lack of something better to do with the pent-up emotion. "Well, that's what you get for banging drunks in bars, Maeby."

"Likewise. I'm not the one who fucked the first blind drunk bimbo who'd follow me into an alley."

Dean scoffed, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "You're about to claim that what you did was… morally better?"

"I sure as hell am not about to take a lecture on sexual morality from _you_."

That finger of hers stabbed at his chest again. Dean was certainly sick of it. He caught her finger in his fist, squeezing tighter than necessary. "Well one thing can be said about both you and that bimbo."

Her eyes flared at both his words and his hold on her, but she didn't back down either. "Wisdom from Dean Winchester? This should be good."

"You both got screwed over, in more ways than one. At least she knew she wouldn't be getting a call the morning after."

Yanking her hand away from him, her eyebrow arced. "You think I was expecting one? Believe me, I wasn't. It was purely physical, and it was good. It would seem there are something you just can't learn."

Mae had no clue why she was saying what she was, but it was just one thing that was sending everything spinning out of control. None of those things were true but she knew Dean thought that what he walked in on was a willing act for both parties. She knew he really had no idea what had happened or more importantly why.

The next thing she knew, he had grabbed her wrists and pinned them behind her back. His lips fell hot on hers. It wasn't a kiss so much as an assault on her mouth. Her muffled gasp only allowed his tongue to pry into her warm opening. Even with her hands trapped, she was hardly defenseless. Mae stomped on his instep, drawing his mouth away. While he was off balance, she hooked her long leg behind his knee and spun them, so he toppled to the bed.

Dean found himself flat on his stomach with Mae's knee painfully embedded in his back. Her hands wrapped almost too tightly around his wrists as she held them to the bed. The redhead leaned close, her breath hot against his ear. "Don't ever act like you have any right to touch me. You try something like that again and I'll kill you."

He didn't doubt the seriousness in her hiss. Possibly the only reason she didn't hurt him further was because Sam took that moment to emerge from the bathroom.

Mae's eyes were still burning when she looked up at the younger brother. After a moment, she let Dean up but not before giving his head a harsh shove. "Get your shit, we're rollin'."

It may have sounded casual, but it was a harsh order, punctuated by the slamming of the door as she stormed out of the room.

"Dude, what the hell was that?"

Sam nearly whispered in case Mae was listening. He did not want to piss that woman off. "Nothin'."

Dean replied coolly as she stood to straighten his shirts. He felt like an idiot for losing control of the situation like that. "Looked like a girl was kicking your ass."

Clearly, his older brother wasn't in the mood for that, judging by the look he shot him. "I'll just get ready to go."

Dean only stalked away to his bag, roughly packing it.

* * *

Her hands were shaking, and she was on the verge of either crying or screaming. She wasn't sure which would be more cathartic. Dean's actions had shaken her more than any of this words and accusations. Logically, she understood how he felt. Even if he knew the full story of that fateful evening and the bloody aftermath, he had no way of knowing, he might have still felt the same way.

She wondered how far Dean would have taken that heated attack before he realized what he was doing. Was he trying to hurt her or scare her or what? He'd never touched her like that before and that did scare her. She pulled out her phone, knowing that she hadn't missed any calls but somehow expecting one. It was early but she didn't care whatsoever when she decided to dial the number that had brought all of this back into her life. It rang. And rang but then went to voicemail.

However cathartic it would have been to leave a message that was just a litany of profanity, she didn't. She only hung up the phone with a sigh. "Dammit. This wasn't part of the deal."

* * *

Mae wanted to smack Sam. As soon as her anger had subsided to safe levels and the boys were ready, he started needling her. Once again, she reminded herself that she should have left. A smart woman would have just taken off, never to look back again. But she had made a promise. She'd made a promise and, she reminded herself, this wasn't completely selfless. If everything went as planned, she'd get some revenge of her own.

Right now, however, there was no doubt in her mind that Sam was trying to get them to make up, forcing her to take the front seat, next to Dean. He knew she knew when her gray eyes sent him a searing glare over the Impala's dark roof. Feeling audacious, he flashed her a wholehearted smile. Okay, so poking the bear in this case would mean Dean and Mae's arguing would likely kick up to a whole other level.

Sam however had decided that the pair needed to solve their problem and if they weren't going to let him help, well he was just going to force the issue. They would either talk or throttle each other. That would solve things one way or another. He was banking on the former because the night before, they seemed to get along okay. Not perfect but something that could be fixed. Or so it seemed. Dean had given him no impression that things were as tense as they were minutes before.

Working on that map, the gathering of supplies and clean of guns left them rather amiable, to the point that they were joking about the crappy movie when they had all been together. He'd caught both of them more than once smiling and looking away before the other caught it. Surely, that meant something. Whatever had gone wrong between them, and it was a pretty big whatever he decided, hadn't changed the core of their relationship. His brother deserved to be happy and who knew, maybe among all the emotions Mavis made him feel, happiness was among them.

They certainly weren't suitable for general society. A year ago, maybe even a few months ago, he would have said that any relationship that involved this many guns and knives, not to mention ghosts and werewolves and any number of supernatural bad guys was doomed. None of his relationships had been made better for it but he and Dean were two every different people. Weren't relationships about understanding and sharing something? Mae and Dean probably understood each other more than any two people could.

He knew Mae to be a kind, understanding, and smart woman. He hadn't pieced everything together, but he was certain one of them had jilted the other in one way or another. Sam assumed it really did come down to something as simple as that. And the fact that they had never talked about it at all. Dean said he'd been faithful but perhaps Mae had a different definition that his brother was using. It was his good deed, he decided, to help them hash it out. So, if that put him on the bad side of Mae or Dean, so be it. Besides, when she was mad at him it wasn't as bad as when she was mad at Dean.

Mae was quite tempted to kill both of them. Hell, very few people would even notice. She half wondered if John would. It seemed the man had washed his hands of his boys. Still she let her mind wander a bit into fantasy, if she killed, them she could be long gone by the time anyone ever noticed. Shaking her head, Mae sighed inwardly. Even that would resolve the issue between her and Dean. This wasn't going to be one of those things they could just bury and forget about.

If she were being honest with herself though, she would have to admit that she couldn't name anything they had just let lie. Dean had always been surprisingly honest with her and vise verse. It was only now that they had gotten older and decided that they couldn't be that way any longer. A lot of that, she realized was on her. She had been the one who had closed the door and tried to keep him at a distance. She didn't think it would result in them flat out not talking for years. Growing up, even when they were half a country away, they would find the time to talk to each other. Late night phone calls she was certain John knew about but let slide.

Sometimes just talking to Dean made her feel like someone, anyone gave a damn about her. It wasn't as if Uncle Bobby let her do without, he just didn't keep her close. And if she didn't piss anyone off, it seemed like no one would notice her. Except Dean. This wasn't the time to think about that. Wasn't she still mad at him? He was still mad at her, judging by the way that his knuckles blanched as they tightened around the steering wheel, she wasn't the only one focusing on this.

She couldn't help but ponder all of this as Dean drove out to the desolate edge of the Oregon woods where they would begin their search. The tension was palpable in the front seat. Sam let his eyes pass between Mae and Dean. He could only guess about what had happened between them while he was in the shower but once again, it wasn't good. Mae and his brother had come to blows more than once over an argument, but it seemed to solve things for them. He was almost hoping for a fight to break out, not now of course, but when it was over. Maybe it would be better for them just to settle this head to head. After all, he couldn't fix this for them. He couldn't even get either of them to tell them what _this_ was. It was downright maddening at this point.

Dean drove with determination, needing to focus on anything other than the woman sitting next to him. She… she infuriated him. In his mind, he could have handled all the little ways she bothered him. Now in reality, when left to their own devices, he was going out of control. He didn't even understand his actions. Dean fancied himself of certain types of self-control, certainly when it came to pushing aside things. He was skilled in focusing on what the family needed to do. Yet here was Mae. She came in and could push all his buttons, without even trying sometimes. Why the hell he thought kissing her would merit anything more than it had, he wasn't sure.

He knew he'd crossed a line, into what, he wasn't sure and more concerning, he didn't know why. It was like being 14 all over again and not knowing what to do with her. At this point in his life, he should have been able to deal with her better. But it was a cruel twist of fate that he didn't and what's more, he had wanted her to kiss him back. There was a part of him who thought the action would come off as more passionate rather than violent and she would have felt similarly. But there was anger and a need to take control. And that wasn't who he wanted to be with her. As if that would have made things all right again. Almost anything would have been better than the stalemate they found themselves in. Dean sighed. This was going to be a fucking difficult job.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Disclaimer: Course language. Flashbacks are in _italics_.

A/N-if you're wondering, el duende is a goblin type creature, usually just mischievous rather than the killer I've made it, that is believed to lure young girls into the woods, so they get lost. The lore says live inside the walls of children's rooms and like to clip their toenails, which often leads to the removal of whole toes!

* * *

Litter crumpled beneath her boots as she made swift steps. She could still hear them but didn't look back to check; Dean to her left and Sam to her right as they made their way through the forest. Every so often, she would hear the movement of an animal or the wind, but nothing seemed out of order. Considering that they should have seen at least _something_ , anything indicating that the duende had been there, this it was not a good sign. She frowned.

There was something very wrong here, but she couldn't put her finger on it, aside from the goblin and missing children. It was a feeling that ran down her spine. Unnecessarily checking her positioning with her compass, she sighed. There wasn't a damn thing out of place. She wondered if they were just wasting their time with this route. They would find something, wouldn't they? She was checking around the tress for the sleeping duende to no avail. Of course, nobody said this would be easy, but she had hoped for a while that it might have been. Nothing turned out as she hoped.

All three kept a watchful eye just, in case. The air was thick almost un-breathable because of the tension and anger boiling just below, somewhat abated by their shared duty. With no easy way to deal with it, they hunted instead. The hunt was all that remained between Dean and Mae. Nothing else was there for them any longer, Dean thought. He didn't know why that even mattered but it felt more resolute than ever. Was there any situation where it would have been okay, where they could have made up? What would he do if there were? Mae was… his past. No matter what existed between them, love or hatred, it was past. But neither Dean nor Mae's thoughts strayed from the other.

It wasn't as if Mae was unaware of the results of her actions. She was. Dean just didn't know whole story. It hadn't mattered before. Perhaps it didn't matter now. In fact, sex with John had unintended consequence of finishing what she lacked the courage to do. Her relationship with Dean wasn't something she could end on her own, despite the fact that she had moved on. She knew, for whatever reason, that he could have easily lured her back into his life. She didn't have the guts to tell him that she wasn't interested in him and that she was with someone else.

One stupid mistake on the job had done it for her. That hadn't been her intent either. She had been given five years and a handful of opportunities to end things for good and never took the chance. Never during one of their phone calls or taking up one of Dean's offers to get together had she been able to simply tell him what she needed to tell him.

All the same, she wasn't convinced that giving him the story about what happened that night between her and John, the way John had been set up and how that screwed up the job, or what happened in the days that followed. It was still easier to let Dean believe that she had been interested in John and potentially still was, than he had walked in on something she had been completely willing to participate in, and that she was fine hurting him. It was still easier to fight with him now than it was to relieve all of it.

There were too many layers to uncover, to lay bare. There were too many things she hadn't told Dean that would sound like lies rather than omissions and a lot that she knew neither boy knew about their father to disclose. She took John's call and as promised, making sure that they had things in hand and didn't need more help. Although, the more she thought about it, his request might have also been made to keep her busy and out of the way as well.

John had contacted her, something he hadn't done in years and knowing what she knew about the man, she couldn't say no, wouldn't say no. Even if his request was totally insane, he had promised to help her by tracking down the demon that had brought such destruction to her life as well. So, she trusted him and made the deal. She knew it couldn't have been an easy call to make because when John cut ties, they stayed cut. He had pissed off more than his fair share of people. Those he'd crossed or crossed him in one way or another, John never spoke to them again. Ever.

While his tone had been almost harsh, nearly an order, there was something behind it that made her think twice. For whatever reason, in that moment as she heard John's embarrassment and then fear over the line, she thought that she could ignore everything with Dean. She thought they could just be professional, but she had only been fooling herself. It wasn't as if Mae couldn't see his side. She had banged his dad. That was weird. And a cruel treachery from his first love. No matter the reasons, it would always be a slap in the face. So maybe the details weren't important.

Second-guessing herself was not something Mae did easily but damned if she didn't feel awful about the whole thing. For all his faults, he did not deserve what she had done or how she treated him. Even now, she knew that she would not have come up with a better solution. At this point, he was better off not knowing why she needed to push him away. It would only hurt him more. Another sigh escaped her pensive lips. Her rambling line of thought wasn't helping her or the job. If only she could focus…

* * *

The sun was high now, shining brightly. The slices of light that pierced the boughs of the trees and penetrated to the forest floor only served as sharp reminders that they were losing time and any advantage they might have had. Perhaps the first thing she learned while hunting was the skill of patience, but it wasn't coming easy to Mae now. It was all Dean's fault. Her mind kept slipping back to him and she was feeling things about their situation she had not wanted to feel for years.

The three had hiked for a few hours before stopping to take a break, eat something and get their bearings. None of them had yet to see any signs of the duende but they were still an hour or so from the area they had deemed most likely for its cave.

However, Dean found himself rather unsettled as they put down their gear and unpacked some food. Mae retreated to the other side of the clearing. For the life of him, he did not know why he couldn't just stay mad with her. Nor could he completely forgive her. He knew he needed to apologize to her as well, for his actions earlier that morning, but found himself hesitating.

Dean frowned as he watched her unfold the map, taking a seat on a large rock. The woman pulled him into complete disorder. He hated the fact that it felt like things were better when they were fighting. At least then, he knew she cared, and he knew they were going somewhere, even if it wasn't anywhere good. Why did that matter so much to him? After this was over, they would go their separate ways. He would finally know exactly the way things stood between them. He wasn't happy with that.

He couldn't help but watch her unzip the legs from her pants, turning them into shorts. He didn't even bother to cover up his stare with any other activity. Mae had long, pale legs any man would want wrapped just about anywhere on their body. He certainly did. Her hiking boots covered her slender ankles, but he loved the way those legs looked mostly bare. When she was younger, those legs had always been skinny, but were now more defined and feminine. She was all legs, 5 foot 10 inches of legs.

He closed his eyes, shaking his head, as if that would take those images out of his mind. She was driving him mad. Her body shouldn't have looked like that. It was not fair at all. Now in her tank top and shorts, he could see more of her muscled body. Dean closed his eyes trying to block her out now. Discomfort washed over him at the idea that he was still attracted to her. Rather than shut down his feelings of desire, he found himself flooded with memories of her.

* * *

~*~ Three Years Ago ~*~

 _He was in a rather good mood that day. It had been quite some time since things had come close to feeling right. Since Sam had left for college… things hadn't been good. At all. His dad was being stubborn, as usual and couldn't make amends with his youngest son. Dean now stayed quiet on the subject but both Sam and John knew where he stood. He didn't want his family broken up anymore but clearly, he couldn't control either his father or his brother. They were like oil and water._

 _But today was good. It was a beautiful day, early in the summer in some small town in Minnesota. It was warm but the humidity had yet to set in and working this case with dad had allowed him some much-enjoyed time driving in his newly inherited Impala. Then his day got a whole lot better._

 _The redhead so casually leaning up against his car was unmistakable, looking like heaven and hell all rolled into one. The girl was audacious and had she been anyone else, even a pretty girl, he would have been pissed at the way she touched his freshly washed car. However, this was Mae Singer. God, she was beautiful. It had been a too long since he saw her last. After she got hurt both she and Uncle Bobby thought it would be best if she didn't go out hunting anymore._

 _5 years. He used to call her all the time but as it became clear she wasn't going to come back home; the calls became less frequent. Not for lack of trying. Dean did try for her. He tried to meet up with her, even wrote a couple letters, something he hated to do. But it was for Mae. She was practically family. Scratch that, she was family. He had worried lately as the past few calls he had made went straight to her voicemail and she hadn't returned them. None of that mattered now because here she was. She looked amazing. She was 16 when she left but now she was a full-fledged woman. 21. Free and legal._

 _Her hair was much longer now. She wore it free and loose, letting brush over her bare shoulders and contrasting her milky white skin nicely. His heart beat faster just seeing her. Mae wore a faded Led Zeppelin tank top and battered jeans with her old black boots. The sun glinted along the silver chain around her neck. He could still remember the way those tiny charms chimed together when she moved, the way they bounced against her chest._

 _In that singular moment, life was perfect. As a smile crossed his lips, his stride became wider endeavoring to reach his girl, capture her in a strong embrace before kissing her. There was passion, desire, love, and affection all rolled up into that kiss. She was so intoxicating, and it was all he could do not to drag her into the back seat of the car. He should at least say hello first. His mind however drowned in sensation. There had, of course, been other women in their time apart, most of whom he didn't remember that well, but Mae set his body in flames like no other. She pulled back all too soon for Dean. Still, that goofy grin was plastered on his face. Nothing could have ruined the way he felt right then._

" _That the way you greet everyone, Winchester?"_

 _There was a soft smile on her face, not beaming but warm and reassuring. "God Mae, you look fantastic."_

 _He tightened his grip on her waist and pulled her in for another kiss. Only she didn't return it. Her hands braced against his chest; she pushed away from him._

 _"Dean! You have a one-track mind."_

" _Man can't survive on bread and water alone, baby."_

 _She slapped his chest lightly as he reached for her again. "Dude, whatever. Like you've had to endure anything alone."_

" _Yeah but I would have rather done it with you."_

 _She rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Like I said, whatever. Where's your dad?"_

" _Out working."_

 _He wanted to hold her again, didn't worry quite as much about the job at hand now that he was with her again. "And he's okay with you loafing?"_

 _His smile fell a bit until he realized she was teasing. Shooting her a careless smile, he made a grab for her arm, pulling her back. "Hey, I'm working! I just schmoozed my way to the official police report."_

 _He didn't tell her about the number the cute receptionist gave him but now that Mae was here, he didn't need or care about it._

" _What are you doin' here Red?"_

 _She shrugged. The notion that she was acting strangely lingered in the back of his mind, but he pushed it aside. It had been 5 years. Maybe she didn't know that things hadn't changed for him. He needed to put on the breaks he decided. After the pause, the redhead responded. "Just passing through, heard tell there was some weird stuff goin' on."_

 _"Werewolf," he said, overly excited about the prospect, "We think."_

 _Her eyebrows arched with question and expectation. Dean just grinned. He wanted to kiss her so badly again. He knew she would end up hunting again, no matter what happened or how much her uncle fought her on it. It was part of her just as it was part of him. And he liked that. Enthusiastically, he pulled the folder out of his light jacket and handed it to her. It surprised him how right she felt beside him. He took his place against the hood next to her. Pretending to read over her shoulder, he leaned in closer to smell the sweet strawberry scent of her hair. Only that wasn't what greeted his nose. She had changed shampoo or something. It wasn't unpleasant, in fact, it was fascinating._

 _Leaning ever closer he pushed her hair over her shoulder to nuzzled and kiss her neck. His arm slid tightly around her waist and she tensed, pulling away. "Cut it out, man!"_

" _C'mon Mae. All work and no play…" He waggled his eyebrows at her in an attempt to sooth the angry grooves on her face. "I've miss you babe. Haven't you missed me?"_

 _The slim girl shivered as he spoke faintly against her ear. "I said stop, okay?"_

 _Her tone was low and gritty. Dean let go. While pretty and almost soft looking, Mae wasn't. Some might call her brutal, but he knew that was only a cover. That didn't make it less true. He was definitely getting that vicious vibe now._

 _He held his hands up in surrender. "Cool down Maeby. I was just trying-"_

" _I know what you were trying." She interrupted. Standing, she thrust the folder back at him. "Don't."_

 _Her eyes were hard, indomitable and her angular face was just as obstinate. "What's wrong sweetheart?"_

 _He asked in a calm but concerned tone. That wasn't how she took it, it seemed. "Nothing! Nothing's wrong with me. Just keep your hands to yourself."_

" _I thought… Mae I know it's been a while, but I thought… we had something."_

 _Those eyes that epitomized cool flamed with her temper. "We had 'a thing' when we were 16. We're adults now."_

" _Exactly. We don't have to sneak around anymore. We can just… be together. Listen, I know I came on strong. I'm sorry. You're just so gorgeous and I can't help but want you."_

 _His hand was back on her shoulder sliding down her smooth skin. Jerking away from him a final time she thrust a finger at his chest._ " _I said no, and I meant it. I don't want you to touch me."_

" _Okay fine, I won't touch you, but you know you kissed me back earlier."_

" _You didn't give me much of a choice."_

 _Dean sighed. This wasn't going as planned. Maybe she was seeing someone else or… he couldn't think of anything else. The only reason he wouldn't want to be with her would be if there were another woman. He just hadn't met a girl who could hold a candle to his girl. She had to know, that right? But he relented. He wasn't prepared to lose someone else he loved right then. "I don't want to fight Mae, I really don't. So, whatever this is, can we… talk or something?"_

 _He pleaded with his eyes, waiting for her to break. She was strong willed, but he was certain he still knew her weak spots. "There's nothing to talk about, Dean. However, there is something that needs to be killed. That's what I'm going to do, I don't know about you."_

 _She tossed the jab just as she tossed her hair over her shoulder and turned from him. She practically marched to her motorcycle and it roared to life with the same growl Mae seemed to have taken on. The older hunter sighed but got in his car. He would head back to the motel, surprised when she followed._

 _Dean frowned as he watched her in the review mirror. He couldn't deny that he wanted her, lord how he wanted her, but it wasn't just physical. Genuine love had entered the mix, long ago before he had even realized that it wasn't simply affection for a girl he grew up with. Dean didn't want to be too sappy, but he knew she was the one._

 _When they were together, he was with her totally. When they were apart… it wasn't as if they had agreed to remain true. He hadn't nor had she. His mind didn't dwell on what she might have found with other men because she was with him now. They were just a bit out of sync but that could be corrected. She was back. If she didn't want him, she wouldn't have come back. She had just forgotten what he was like when he was with her. Admittedly, he had too but he could see it, feel the difference in his thoughts and actions when he was with her._

 _Glancing back again, he knew he would just have to show her. It was fair to expect that their situations had changed but his feelings for her had never wavered. In all the years he had known her, they had only become stronger, today included. How could she not feel the same way?_

* * *

~*~ Present Day ~*~

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Dean shook his head at the bittersweet memory. He had loved her, not just puppy love either. Clearly, he had been mistaken about her feeling the same way. He didn't know what she had felt all those years ago but evidently, it didn't mean as much to her. It was like feeling his heart break all over again. He should have known, even before the ugliness that followed that she hadn't come back for him that day.

It wasn't the first time since that day that he wondered if she came back because of his dad. Maybe there had been something going on between them long before that. The thought made him frown and feel distinctly tainted. It was difficult not to find just as much fault with his father for his actions. After all, Mae had been his girlfriend and was Bobby's niece; both of those were enough reason not to pursue her, no matter what Mae might have wanted. John Winchester wasn't a saint but was his father really that kind of man? Dean closed his eyes again. They had never spoken of it. He didn't know if he could see his father in the same way if he knew that truth. It was easier to blame Mae.

Even so, while he wanted to accuse her of doing it to be cruel, to get back at him but he couldn't. He had known Mae better than anyone else had and she wasn't vindictive. Mavis was sweet. And none of that explained anything. She still screwed his dad, she still left, and she still came back. He didn't have enough answers and he had run out of patience.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

* * *

Mae was better prepared than the boys were. She had gear, hiking and camping gear, not just things for the hunt. It was rather impressive. Dean had no intention of telling her that even if they were talking. Sam would try every now and then to say something, receiving only monosyllabic grunts from either Mae or Dean. As if this wasn't a bad enough job already. They had two dead kids and one more missing. And those two were behaving like children.

Sam was well aware of the change between Mae and Dean since their fight in the motel room. She had totally withdrawn from everything but the case. He didn't like it much, but it gave him a chance to talk to his brother. It wasn't perfect but they could not keep going like this with the two all over the board emotionally, least they forget they were still trying to kill a goblin. "So, you and Mae…?"

"Sam, drop it." He held a hand up, his face a grim facade.

"No way. The two of you are driving me crazy. And she's driving you nuts too."

"Don't mean I wanna talk about it."

Dean was being more than stubborn. Sam just wanted answers and he knew Mae wouldn't give them. There was only one source. With a sharp sigh, he decided to change tactics. "Why does she keep hunting? I mean, what's in it for her?"

Dean looked over at Sam like he was crazy. "Mae? She was raised by hunters. She _is_ a hunter."

"C'mon Dean. You know Bobby tried to keep her pretty normal. He pretty much trained her up so that she could defend herself, but Bobby wasn't like dad."

Dean scoffed. "Clearly, that worked."

"Well, dad was more than willing to train her."

His brother frowned a bit. "She needed to be trained. She was in just as much danger. Bobby knew that too."

Sam shrugged. "Yeah well… that doesn't explain why she's still here."

"Dude I don't know why she does it. We haven't exactly shared our dream boards yet. I just know she's damn good at it. Isn't that good enough for you?"

"You said it yourself Dean. You haven't spoken to her in 3 years. And before that… she had reason to leave. So why is she hunting now?"

Dean only shrugged. Sam always was the one to talk it out and while there was a part of him that wanted, needed to talk about Mae, this was not the time or the place. "I don't know man. She's the only one who can tell you why she's doing what she's doing. I guess things changed for her, more than once. And it doesn't really matter because the hunt is what's important to her, nothing else."

Dean said the last part with such conviction that it made Sam start to think again. His brother always said that was dangerous and maybe this time it was. Sam had never been clear on why Mae dropped off the radar after she was hurt. It wasn't just an injury. And it wasn't just Dean she stopped talking to. She pretty much cut ties with her uncle Bobby and anything relating to hunting. Mae had been hurt before, too often for normal a 16-year-old. Granted, that injury had been bad, among the worst he had ever seen. She had every right to leave.

If ever there was a time to reconsider your life, it was when you were impaled on a wrought iron fence. She was lucky to be alive, she was lucky to be able to walk and she'd been given both those gifts. Bobby wasn't driven the same way their dad was nor did he push them the same way, but Mae was free. It might have come at a price, but she was finally free. Why then didn't she stop hunting? There wasn't some tragedy that pulled him back. Mae didn't have a Jess. It was her choice. If anything, she was more resolute about hunting now. So, if Dean's words and tone were any indication, her own personal mission had left his brother in her wake.

"So…when she came back? What happened?"

Dean shook his head. "Sammy, I'm askin' you to just drop this." It bothered him for a myriad of reasons but telling Sam the truth of the situation seemed somehow...disgraceful.

"Dean…"

"Fine, you wanna know, you really wanna know?" Sam nodded, grateful that he had finally gotten through to his brother. "Fine, pal, you wanna know what happened… she slept with Dad."

The younger man was not prepared for that particular revelation. He'd had time to postulate all the reason why Mae and Dean stopped talking, why she had cut off contact with all of his family and that never once crossed his mind. "Dude! What?!"

Mae's head shot up at Sam's outburst. Offering her a weak smile only getting a frown in return, he was certain he was blushing. She watched the brothers for another moment before turning back to her map.

Dean smacked Sam in the chest, glaring him down. "You heard me." He hissed.

"He's… old enough to be _her_ dad!" Sammy repressed a shivered, but the grimace was still on his face. "Dad and Mae? That is so… gross."

Gross was the word for it. She was practically their sister, although it seemed like he was the only one who held true to that idea, seeing that he was the only one not to want to have sex with her. Evidently, she didn't feel that familial connection in quite the same way.

"You're tellin' me." Dean replied. He could have used a drink right then.

"How the hell could Dad do that?"

"Dad? What about Mae?"

"C'mon Dean, you know dad…"

"You're saying he what? Took advantage of her?" Sam shot his brother a meaningful look. Did Dean truly blame Mae and Mae alone? Of course, he did. This was their dad they were talking about after all. Mae wasn't innocent either. Sam didn't have the details but as his brother was fond of saying it takes two to have hardcore sex. Mae and their dad had done just that, if Dean was correct.

Trying his best to push that unneeded visual from his mind, he tried to get to the next part of the story. "Hey, you're the one who told me this, so you'd know better. But did you get any indication that either of them was...not both consenting adults."

Dean didn't say anything.

"So, all this is because you found out she had been… doing our dad?"

"I don't...I'm pretty sure it was just the one time, okay?"

"Okay." Sam would let the point rest. There was no use in arguing this one. "So, you two fought and…"

Dean couldn't stop himself now. He was actually gratified to get all this off his chest. "Oh, there was no fight." Dean's eyes flickered back to the redhead. Finding that she hadn't moved, he continued. "I found her in that room putting her pants back on, slammed the door and when I finally came back hours later, she was gone. Dad never said anything about it and I sure didn't want to talk about it. I haven't heard from Mae since until now, didn't really want to."

He couldn't blame Dean for feeling the way he did. If his girlfriend had slept with his dad, well, he didn't think he could deal with that at all. The fact that his brother could speak to either Mae or their father was something he didn't think he had the strength to do.

"Yeah I wouldn't either but… maybe you should talk to her now. Maybe what you thought happened didn't happen the way you think it did."

Closing his eyes, Dean shook his head. "Anything we might have to talk about doesn't matter now."

Sam opened his mouth, wanting to say something more but was cut off by Mae. He hadn't noticed her packing her gear back up. "C'mon, we gotta roll." And she headed down the trail leaving the boys to follow or get left behind.

* * *

The darkness fell fast. They had spent the better part of the afternoon searching, with no luck so far in that same atmosphere of disapproving glances and uncomfortable stares. The only good thing was the time they made hiking in and had covered a lot of ground. That left them to unpack their camping gear. Or rather Mae's camping gear. She had brought two extra sleeping bags for them because she was certain they didn't have their own.

They gathered wood for the fire, cooked some dinner, all in more or less awkward silence. Firelight cast odd angles of shadows over the trees and rocks. And the one thing she was starkly aware of was Dean. Things were worse now and she had no one to blame but herself for going against her better judgment and letting the boys know she was tailing them. God, Mae thought, propping her arms on her knees. This is not what was supposed to have happened. She was supposed to keep an eye on the guys, do her job and keep things together. But in a matter of days, she had said more hurtful things to Dean than she had ever wanted. She didn't hate Dean and she didn't want to be this… angry.

Her gaze moved to the man in question, across the fire. The man slept somehow, out of necessity she supposed. They had all learned to sleep when they could, wherever they could. Dean slept and she watched him, a bit envious that he was evidently able to turn his brain off.

Sam watched her. She could feel his questioning eyes on her. It was a look of confusion and perhaps a tinge of disgust. "Oh, I know that look Sammy. So how much did Dean tell you?"

Sam looked away from her, not exactly eager to talk to her about this. He hadn't meant to stare but he found himself unable to reconcile what his brother told him with what he knew about the woman. Mae was many things in his life of which she probably wasn't aware. She was the closest thing to a mother he knew, aside from Dean he supposed. His brother and Mae were the ones who had spent more time raising him that his own father. He still remembered how she would crawl into bed with him and let him cry so his brother didn't know when he got scared. She protected him the way a mother could.

And as they got older, she was the compassionate shoulder he could lean on, talk to and confide in when he couldn't talk to Dean. Even though she was more like his brother, she was still more kindhearted and understanding. He worried that this life had changed that. She didn't seem so sweet anymore, now she was colder and distant. Mae only smiled at his discomfort. "He uh, he told me you slept with Dad. Is that true?"

"What do you think? Is that a story you think Dean would make up?"

"I guess not. Why then?"

Mae shrugged. "I was an adult. I was and still am free to be with whomever I chose."

"Yeah but… dad?"

The woman frowned. It was no secret that Sam disapproved of almost everything his father did; now she had no reason to add to that list. "Looks that way."

She was just as evasive as Dean was, but she was more complacent in her acceptance of the situation. The one thing that was perfectly clear to the younger Winchester was that both Mae and Dean were far from okay with the situation.

Neither of them would confront it. What the hell had really happened between them? Sam could understand why even without a real commitment between them, Dean had been bothered by her choice in partners, but he couldn't exactly point the accusing finger. It was more interesting to consider his comments before. He and Mae might not have been more than a summer thing, but the way Dean talked about her… he still had feeling for her, no matter how much the man might try to deny it.

Under the careful observation of Sam's eyes, Mae gave a little. "It's not like I haven't been with other men too. I'm not screwing my way through the Winchester family tree and if I were… you'd be in trouble Sammy."

He wasn't sure if he should laugh or not, merely giving her a worried and troubled look. At that she laughed.

"Mae I…" The look on Sam's face was almost comical, as if he was truly worried he would have to fend off her advances.

"Dude, seriously… if you're looking for a reason, I'm not going to give you one okay? At that point in time, it had been years since Dean and I had been together. I certainly wasn't celibate all that time and I doubt he was either. he...he thought something was going to happen between me and him that night, wanted something to happen and I didn't."

"Because you were interested in dad?"

"God no!"

"So, you didn't want to sleep with him, but you did?"

Mae closed her eyes. Sam would probably be more accepting and open to the truth of the situation, more understanding perhaps. There were few people who even knew the entire story. Really, just her and John. Maybe, it would have be cathartic in some way to come clean. But now wasn't that time. "It's complicated."

"Was it...rape?"

"Are you asking if I took advantage of your dad?"

He wasn't sure if she was joking or not. "No. But if you didn't want to have sex, it wasn't exactly what Dean thinks."

"You're right, it wasn't. But...I really don't want to keep going over this, okay?"

"Sure, yeah, I guess. And you don't need to explain it to me. But maybe you should tell Dean."

"You've met your brother? I don't think he can deal with thinking about your dad in the way the reality of the situation would paint him. And I don't want to go over it."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

* * *

Mae didn't exactly offer to share the tent, worried that again Dean might get the wrong idea and that it was simply too cramped to share with tensions as high as they were. She slept alone in the tent while the boys slept outside. For better or worse, she knew neither would complain and were perhaps relived to have some space. Under different circumstances, the warm crackling fire, cool night hair and sky full of stars and trees would have been a welcome reprieve.

She didn't hear her tent unzip but did feel a boot nudged her. With a mumbled something, she turned, trying to hide her face in the crook of arm.

"Mae. Get up." His voice wasn't more than a whisper but the command behind it was clear and penetrated her sleep.

With less than military efficiency, she struggled up in her sleeping bag but at least she was up. "Wh-what? What's wrong?"

"Sam's missing."

She must have misheard him. Scrubbing her hands over her face she tried to make sense of things. "Did you just-"

"Get up! We have to find him." Dean wasn't spending any more time getting her up. He effectively ducked back out of the tent and was off to look for Sammy. She shook her head, attempting to clear the sleep out of her mind and twist out of the sleeping bag. She crawled out of the tent. Looking across the smoldering remains of the night's fire, she found that Sam's sleeping bag was indeed empty but to her that didn't mean all that much. It was a big forest and the younger Winchester brother was more than capable of taking care of himself.

Nevertheless, Mae was on her feet and after him tugging on her boots as she tried to catch up Dean. "Hold up, what's going on here?" She yelled out, finding it more difficult to follow him and redress at the same time.

"Sammy, Mae. Can't find Sammy." He moved like a man on the warpath, ground eating strides moving him quickly from her as she struggled to right her clothing.

"Dean! Dean hold up, what the hell are you talking about?"

"What do you think _Mavis_? Sam's missing, we gotta find him."

The man still wasn't making sense to her, but she picked up her pace until she caught up to him. "He's probably just takin' a leak. Let the man pee in peace."

"He's not, okay? That damn goblin has him." She had seen that intensity in his eyes before he stopped and turned to her. It nearly made her take a step back. Mae kept her mouth shut then. "You hear anything last night Mae?"

"If I did, do you think I would have just turned over and tried to catch up on my beauty sleep?"

His eyes soften when he looked back at her. She looked half-crazed with her hair rumpled and wild, clothing disheveled and wrinkled from sleep but she followed him with due diligence. He took a breath, trying to calm himself. "He's my baby brother."

Reaching out, she placed a stable hand on his forearm. "I get that Dean, okay?"

"No! You don't. I don't know why you're out here but he's my family so while you may not give a damn about that, I do."

"This isn't the time to have this fight. Trust me, if I didn't care about your family I wouldn't be here."

His panic mixed their ongoing feud and pushed him closer to the edge with her. "Yeah right."

Her hand fell swiftly across his cheek. It was hardly the first time a woman slapped him, but it seemed more of an insult coming from her. Mae could have knocked him flat on his ass with a good punch. They were well matched physically, despite his weight advantage. Both of them were well-trained fighters and the only way he could win with her was by pinning her. He would have preferred the punch, he could have fought back, wanted to fight back. The slap was somehow milder as if she were attempting to calm a hysterical woman.

"Get it together Dean. I know it's Sam, your baby brother but I need you thinking clearly here. Sam needs you to think clearly."

He couldn't believe it, the way she was so calm. This was Sam! "Get it together?"

Dean tugged away but her grasp remained firm. "Yeah. That's what I said. You know if we do this like civilians, he doesn't stand a chance. We're the best that Sam and those kids have."

He frowned. He hated that she made sense. "We're still looking."

It didn't need to be said, he knew but he needed to make sure. "I am not suggesting otherwise but we're in the middle of nowhere and got no clues, no leads, we need to be smart. Sam can take care of himself, okay? I'm pretty sure the guy can hold his own long enough for us to regroup and actually have a solid plan to search for him. You know that. That's just about the only thing on our side right now. "

Of course, she was right. Still he gave her a last warning. "We have to find him."

She nodded curtly. "Let's go back to camp. I'll pack up, you look for… something. There has to be something."

"I should check out there." Dean gave a large, wide sweep of his arm, indicating in the opposite direction of their camp.

"We're not splitting up. If he has been taken by the thing we're looking for, then it's smarter than we thought. If he was taken from camp, when our guards were down it could be hunting us. It could be trying to lure us out into a less secure area and probably trying to get us to go separately so we're easier to take out. Okay? And that's if something took Sam. He could be lost too. This place is expansive and it's easy to get turned around, to get hurt. We need to be prepared for that so we're not going off half-cocked because that will not make sure Sam is safe. And I promise you, I'm not going to get taken out by some freakin' goblin."

Again, she had a point but out of defiance, he wouldn't tell her. He gave a noncommittal shrug before marching back to camp. Behind his back, she pinched the bridge of her nose; unsure how they'd been caught with their pants down like this and wondering if she could keep Dean in line.

Even as they searched around the camp, he was getting agitated. It wasn't that he had a better plan. He had no plan in fact but every second they were here was another second, they weren't giving to the search for Sam. "How the hell could this thing get Sam?" He asked aloud as he headed back to Mae.

He has searched all around the clearing of their camp and the area around it, keeping Mae in his eye-line as she packed up her tent, took care of the sleeping bag, took down the food they'd hung in the trees, and made sure the fire was extinguished, all in record time. "He probably stepped outside the green zone," Mae said, casting him a glance.

"Sam's not that dumb."

"I'm not saying he is. We all did it Dean. We didn't think to put lines down everywhere. So, when we went to take a piss…" Mae trailed off but he realized she had a point.

"You think?" "C'mon Dean, Sammy's a big guy. These things aren't supposed to be more than 2 feet tall. I haven't seen one personally but if that's true, I know I'd pick the smallest and weakest target. And that's me. Think about it." She added at Dean's look.

However, she had misunderstood it. He was actually surprised to hear that she had been thinking about this. He had assumed to some degree that she was just trying to keep him calm, rather than find Sam. "I'm shorter, lighter and I was sleeping on the other side of the fire, apart from you both. If it could have crossed the lines, I would have been easiest to pick off."

Dean sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "Alright, I'll look in that direction. Let's keep track of each other." "No argument here pal." She hoped her theory was right. It was already bad enough that they were evidently being hunted back now without the added threat that this goblin might be invulnerable to most of their mojo.

They had to be close. That might have been the only good thing about this whole predicament. They might be able to find it now. Or they might get Dean's brother killed. Dean would call out to her every now and then, like a twisted game of Marco-Polo.

"Find anything?" He asked, cleared dissatisfied with the results of his own search. She shook her head, as he took the two smaller packs from her, as she'd already put hers on. "Let's head west then. That's where we think the caves are. We'll find him."

He let her take charge, only because he found her direction rather grounding. Mae might not have been going in the right direction either, but she kept him moving. Something was different now. He knew he should have kept his mind on the task at hand, but he could only think of Mae. One moment, he wanted to kiss her the next he wanted to hit her. He wanted to hold her and push her away. He wanted to still love her and wanted to feel nothing for her. He wanted to be her friend and he wanted to be her enemy.

Right now, he found himself respecting her, the way she moved and worked. He had always respected her in that facet. Mae had always had a sharp mind and inclination for the skill set hunting required. He didn't consider him a slouch, but they made a good pair, at least he thought so. What Mae lacked in strength and viciousness, he had. Although it seemed she had been able to make up for that in recent years.

She was making him nuts. As she squatted to examine some tracks, the waistband of her pants dipped, and her shirt rose to show an intricate pattern of squiggles and lines. The curving tattoo wasn't without aesthetic beauty, but he suspected it wasn't meant to be body art or a symbol of her teenage rebellion. It was something rather new too. "That's some tramp stamp Mavis."

She hated being called Mavis, but she only laughed. "Like you've never seen," Her grin was almost cheeky as she shot him a look over her shoulder.

"I never thought you'd get a tattoo."

"Guess you were wrong." It amazed him that she could make him smile still.

The pair headed deeper into the Cascades. "These mountains are actually part of the 'Ring of Fire'."

"What?" Dean's thoughts couldn't have been any farther from thinking about her geologic trivia.

"Nothing. I just thought it was interesting." "

You think now's the time for interesting?"

Mae shrugged. "Why do you think I'm somehow less serious about finding Sam?"

"Because you're not being serious." "Yeah and you've never joked your way through every tense moment in your life. Geez, let someone else have a coping mechanism for once."

"I thought yours was to leave." He said it under his breath but slightly offhandedly. However, Mae heard it.

Mae stopped and turned back, annoyance in her features. "Dude, what in the hell is wrong with you? One minute you're on my ass, then you're shoving your tongue down my throat, and then you're treating like we're besties. Can't you give me a great? Pick a mode Dean!"

He was annoyed too. They'd been circling around this far too long. "I can't! You're the problem."

"I'm the problem? How am I the problem?"

"How can you even wonder?"

"So, we're starting in on this now?" She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah I guess we are."

No, Mae was putting a stop to this is she could. They had a job to do and there was nothing left to discuss anyway. "There is a time and a place for this and… you know what? There's not. We've burned those bridges Dean."

Dean had no intention of letting her off the hook. They needed to talk even if it was the wrong time. "Classic Mae, you're turning tail."

Steely blue eyes narrowed at him as she took a step closer. "I don't turn tail." Now he stepped closer, pointed a finger at her.

"The hell you don't. Whenever anyone gets close enough for it to matter, you run and hide."

"Like you would know! We grew up together and thought we were in love when we were 16, Dean! Look around, we're grown up now. And you don't know one damn thing about me." Mae yelled.

"The hell I don't."

Mae's arms folded over her chest. Dean didn't know what he was talking about. She hadn't run, she had chosen to fight another day. "What did I do after I got hurt huh? How have I lived my life? You don't know. Those calls, the letters… none of them matter. I stopped even opening them eventually. It was over before you stopped."

"Because you wanted it to be over."

"Exactly." He scoffed. He didn't want to hear this at all. "So, you wanted… you wanted it to be over?"

Finally, Mae thought. It had taken Dean long enough to realize that. Maybe now they could get past all of this. "Yes. You didn't notice that years ago? I'm sorry it went down the way it did but… my life changed a lot after I got hurt, okay? More than you could know, and things were different for me. I didn't feel the same way you did."

Dean frowned. He felt something was missing from her story but what it might have been, he could not guess. "You never thought to tell me this."

This was tougher than she had anticipated because she had to look at him. His face was too damned expressive. "I tried. It just… It was harder than I thought. I haven't done anything to-"

His eyes widened and he yelled back at her. "You slept with my dad!"

Mae threw her hands up. "Oh my God! Why is that your fixation?"

"Mavis! My dad… you have to—do you not get it?" His jaw was practically twitching. He could accept a lot of thing, but Mae _had_ to know that it mattered.

"Okay… I get it but… it's not like you haven't fucked a ton of chicks." It wasn't the point, Mae knew but she had to deflect. There was no winning on this topic with him. Even if she had the best excuse in the world, Dean wouldn't hear it or accept it.

"None of them were your mom," retorted Dean.

"You don't know that. It shouldn't matter at this point."

"Well it does."

It did and always would she figured. If there were something left to save between them, that would always stand between them. Mae sighed and tugged at her pony tail. "You shouldn't waste so much time on me."

"You're up your own ass on this one Mae."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't act like it didn't matter to you. Don't act like your heart didn't break too." Mae scoffed as she tried to sputter a response. But Dean was on a roll. "So, you thought, 'oh I just do his dad, that'll fix it.?"

She moved in. Even if it didn't matter, she didn't want Dean to think that she took it that lightly at the time. She still cared about him. "Not even close. Those two things aren't even linked. They just happened one after another."

"That's a little hard to believe."

This fight was ridiculous. Mae wanted to beat a little sense into him, but she didn't know what more she could give on this. "Believe what you want Dean."

Mae turned, there was still a job to finish. Then they would never have to speak to each other again.

"So that's that for you? You don't give a damn, do you?" Dean was on her trail faster than she anticipated.

"No, I don't give a damn about things we can't change. You wanna be mad at me, be mad. You wanna get off your high horse for a while and finish this job then let's go."

Her huff was resolute. She wanted to be done fighting with him. Dean would either have to get over this or… Mae didn't know what that 'or' might be, but she was done with this game of pointing fingers and trying to place blame for a failed relationship. In the end, it didn't matter. Neither of them had done anything to salvage it. "You cold bitch. To think I ever loved a whore like you."

That stopped her. It wasn't the words, she had been called worse but never with such resoluteness from someone like Dean. "Excuse me? I'm the whore here? I'm cold? I… you're a fucker."

Dean smirked, pleased that his barb had cut her enough.

But Mae was mad now and if asked, she didn't know why she said what she said next. None of it was remotely true. "Explain to me what I would want with you? Look at you Dean, you're still the same guy you were at 17; a daddy's boy. Why the hell wouldn't I fuck your dad huh? Like it would be any different. I would have thought he would have been better, but I guess all Winchesters are alike; worthless."

He slammed her up against a nearby tree, pinning her wrists against her side. Mae could cut with her tongue alone and the look on her face said she just might mean it. Just as he was about to reprimand her, that bony knee of hers made fierce contact with his groin. There was no hesitation or sparring rules in effect here. He let go over her hands-on instinct, but she was still pinned, more so as he leaned into her with more weigh.

While he was busy cursing himself for leaving such a vital part of his anatomy unguarded, she slugged him. Hard. She pushed him away from her, he staggered back. One hand on his jaw, the other raised in a sign of surrender, he was surprised when her foot contacted the side of his head. She dropped her pack and then she was in full on attack mode. It was more than just a fight about that little white lie at this point. Shouldn't he be the one who was this mad at her? Mavis had always been a fighter, not one to easily back down. But it was apparent that there was a lot more anger in her over this than he anticipated. Maybe all the lines about how she fought like a girl had caught up to him. He didn't want to fight with her like this.

Hell, he was angry, angrier than he'd ever been with her, but it was clear her rage topped whatever he was feeling. And she wasn't pulling punches. He let go of the packs he had been holding. Those pretty blue eyes weren't so pretty any more, he though as she crossed the distance between them. She'd kick man when he was down, no doubt. That girl was kicking his ass. "How dare you! This wasn't about you! You don't know the first thing about what happened." She yelled.

Her emotions were in control now. She was not going to cry, she reminded herself. So, she took another swing at Dean. Poorly aimed, Dean blocked it, grabbing her wrist in an attempt to restrain her. "Calm down, Mae."

"Fuck off." She growled, escaping the wrist lock and putting him in one of her own, apply just enough pressure to make it hurt. "You have no idea, no idea Dean, what happened to me. In my life… I may be many things, but I am not a whore. I hate you." She punched him again to keep from crying.

He'd hit a nerve and hell; she just wanted hit something. He was a good enough target. A series of swift punches landed on his jaw none too lightly before a kick to the solar plexus brought him right down to the ground again. By then he'd stopped fighting. He knew she was mad, maybe she had every right to be but the way she said 'I hate you' had stung. More than that, it took the fight right out of him. It hurt more than her kicks and punches. However, he had the foresight to wrap one of his legs between hers and pull her down on top of him.

The scream she gave was more animal than human. They tangled, rolling and kicking and fighting along the forest floor. Dean took the defensive, struggling to not hit her, just to put an end to everything. But she was fighting back like a wildcat. At that point, he would have rather tussled with a werewolf than Mavis Singer. Her fist came flying at his face again and rather than let her pummel him more he grabbed both her wrists, pulling them behind her back and using his weight advantage to roll and pin her to the ground, arms now trapped behind her back.

This time he managed to trap her legs down with a knee painfully embedded in her thigh, not wanting to reenact her earlier escape. But damned if she didn't fight back, bucking against him, in a way that in any other time or place might have been enjoyable. "Okay, I get it. I'm outta line. Now just calm down."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Please, Mae."

"You have no right. You started this and I'm finishing it." She said through clenched teeth.

Dean wasn't sure exactly what he didn't have the right to do but at that point it was more of a blanket statement.

"Okay, you're probably right…" It was crazy, uncontrolled, undignified some somehow the perfect expression of everything that had been flying between them the past few days. And finally, they had come to the end of their patience and congeniality. They were rolling around the forest floor; kicking, punching, scratching, and screaming like children.

Now they lay there, panting and sweating and more or less exposed in ways neither were comfortable with. The way he had her pinned to the ground made it impossible for her to move or roll him off her.

As the rage subsided a bit, she found the tears trying to force their way to the surface and she wasn't convinced she could stop herself from crying. "Get off me, Dean."

But he didn't for fear that if he let her go, if he broke contact, he would lose his chance to get an honest answer out of her. For a moment, neither moved nor spoke.

"What the hell happened to you Mae? You can't even admit that we had something. You know I would have dealt with it if you had just told me you didn't feel the same way anymore. You didn't have to sneak behind my back and screw-"

"Shut up."

He was indignant. She could at least let him speak his piece. Then she could have her say. "Hey I'm trying-"

"No, you idiot, I heard something."

"What?"

Mae shifted her head. At a distinct disadvantage in this position, she couldn't get a good look until she tilted her head back. Dean watched her eyes widened before they snapped back to his. "Look."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

* * *

Dean followed her eye line. By God, there it was. It would have been comical, the dwarf-like goblin standing there in of all things, a tall hat and vaguely tattered clothing, if it didn't have that menacing look in its eyes. "Fuck me." Dean said under his breath.

Of all the times for them to start to have it out… then again, their timing had always been off. This time, it might get them killed. Dean pushed off her and as soon as she was free, she rolled to her feet. But it was gone. "What the hell?"

The pair exchanged a glance, both aware that they had stumbled into a potentially dangerous situation and their full-on fighting was not helping them one bit. Lashing out at each other verbally and physically only served to distract them. They were in a bad situation. She knew that. She also knew her wits weren't about her, her senses weren't as keen as they should have been.

It still surprised her when the duende got the jump on them. The notion of their fight dropped away almost instantly as instinct kicked in. Dean's hand was on his gun and Mae slid a knife out of her boot as circled, back-to-back. Their movements were slow and deliberate but nearly ingrained. However much they had changed, some things remained the same.

The pair stilled when after a few minutes they saw no sign of the creature. "We have to be close." He whispered.

Mae nodded as they exchanged worried glances. "Dean, we're being hunted."

"I know."

Mae took a breath. "If this thing is after us… It means Sam might be unguarded."

Dean looked back at her, realizing what she was reluctantly suggesting. It was safer to take this thing together but if they were close to its lair as he thought, they had more of a chance to save his brother. "Go!" He ordered.

After only a moment of hesitation, she grabbed her gear and Mae was off. She moved toward the rocky region they had pinpointed earlier. She had no clue where she was going to start looking but she was going to take any time Dean was giving her.

Mavis moved on instinct. It wasn't something she lacked and was in fact heightened at times just like this.

However, she felt more than a little off balance without any real clues or leads. She also knew that despite Dean's best efforts, she might have just made herself the bait. Mae was more of an intellectual hunter, preferring to know as much as possible before she came up against something. Only as she blindly hunted her way west in hopes of finding something did she realized they had no idea of how to stop this thing. She looked behind her. She found herself alone and, in her stillness, heard no other sounds.

All that talk about being smart and she volunteered to wander off on her own when she didn't know where she was going or if she would find the thing first.

"Damn it!" The tall woman uttered a curse under her breath.

How the hell they had been so foolish as to let the goblin get the drop on any of them was beyond her. Never separate, she reminded herself. Nothing good came from it but it seemed like they might have a chance to find Sam. Now they were down one man and the one on her side wasn't holding it together. Neither was she for that matter. Her plans had all fallen apart and all she could do was be petty. Blaming Dean would have been easy, even blaming herself for not keeping herself in check would have been the easiest option when compared to coming to terms with the truth.

As she found too often on this hunt, getting lost in her thoughts proved dangerous. It started with a simple misstep on a patch of ground that was far too soft for her weight. Her footing was lost, she tripped, and it was all over from there. She tried to correct her position, tried to grab something to slow her decent but it was pointless.

Mae braced as she tumbled down the steep face of the hill. Unfortunately, the only thing that came to her mind was how Dean would laugh at her were he to witness this. It infuriated her; half due to her own clumsiness and the other because of that man. She could deal with one or the other but not both. That was the only good thing about being separated. She was getting her ass kicked by the goblin, Dean and now nature.

Pain shot through her body when her chin caught the rock as she tumbled. When she finally came to land, she was unconscious. Mae wasn't certain how long she had been out. The light hadn't changed all that much so it couldn't have been that long she rationed. Her face hurt, her entire body did for that matter. She pushed herself to her feet and looked at the hill she had descended rather hastily. It looked more like a mountain from the base. There was no way she could get up the way she came down.

As she looked down, she noticed a healthy amount of blood gathered on her tank top. Her chin. Mae pressed the back of her hand to the area and it came back sticky with drying blood. No time to worry about it now. She had lost Dean in the process but was alone for the time being she thought. The duende wasn't anywhere to be found.

That didn't mean much she knew, it was tricky and could just be drawing her out. She needed to get her bearings before she alerted anyone to her whereabouts. Looking around, she was stunned to find a cave. Caves had been slim pickings around here and a chill ran up her spine. Just the sort of thing she was looking for right in her lap. "Dude, no way."

It was nearly impossible to believe, and the women believed in a great many fantastical things. This though, was amazing. She hoped to God she was in the right place. Slipping her other hunting knife out of her boot, she approached the opening carefully. After grabbing a flashlight from her bag, she left her gear concealed in a nearby bush knowing she could move better unencumbered and that she was far more comfortable with a knife than she was with any other weapon. So, knife in one hand, flashlight in the other, she entered. And she prayed.

* * *

Dean moved cautiously after listening to Mae walk off. He waited until he couldn't hear her anymore. He hoped she could find Sam. As much as he didn't want to be stuck with her of all people, he sure as hell didn't want her wandering out there alone. It was embarrassing that they'd come to blows over it, even if he was heartened to learn that she wasn't as unconcerned or unemotional about things as she often came off. But learning that gem through a knockdown, drag out fight when they should have been working together wasn't really a win. They were supposed to be more mature than that. It had felt good to not just dance around it. Her well placed kicks and punches, not so much.

.

When her footfalls disappeared, Dean sighed. They were on their own now. He knew both Mae and Sam were capable hunters as was he but this whole thing was far harder and more complex than it should have been. The deck was stacked against them.

That feeling of being watched crept up his spine again. Full-blown. Only this time his stalker would not be a pretty albeit infuriating redhead. Truth be told however, he would rather fight a monster than Mae. At least against a goblin, he had a chance to win. It wasn't so with Mae. But he reminded himself, he had more pressing matters at hand. Dean didn't like being taken by surprise and he certainly didn't like the notion that this duende was a better hunter. He needed to draw it out into the open first. This is where he was going to turn the tables. Somehow.

* * *

It was dark but smelled heavily of decay, death even from the outside. She hadn't re-braided her hair after going to sleep and now she found more litter and tangles than she would have liked, knowing that bloodied, dirtied, and with wild hair, she must have looked crazier than she felt. Mae took a breath. The cave was quiet as she moved deeper and deeper inside. She hoped the duende had gone after Dean, only because it seemed like she very well in its lair and didn't want to be taken by surprise at this point. With any luck, he would be able to hold off that goblin from coming after her while she checked the cave. If he could take care of it, she could find Sam and hopefully the last missing child and get them to safety. Touching her charms, she wore around her neck, she said a silent prayer to whoever might be listening to let this not be a trap. Or some random wild animal.

A knife, flashlight and knowledge of the supernatural would not stop a bear from mauling her if she was tiptoeing into its den. There was no other choice though. She had to check. The beam of light swept through the cavern, catching dust particles still drifting in the air. Strangely, the cave wasn't cold or cool, as she had expected. It was somehow warmer than normal. In the heat of summer, she thought, the atmosphere would have been almost un-breathable with as hot and thick as it seemed now. She could finally see how the creature, used to subtropical weather could have settled in the northwest. It might have also explained why its behavior seemed so extreme. The duende was clearly not from around here and struggling to survive. Not as if that idea made it okay. It had gone rogue and needed to be put down.

Personally, she would have stuck with the sun and heat of the south. In all likelihood, it hadn't been the goblin's first choice either. How many creatures had been 'imported', brought to foreign lands where they didn't stand a chance among people? It was one for the books certainly. Mae shook her head. Now was not the time to be philosophical about anything.

There was so much they didn't know, some much the handful of folk stories didn't reveal. Mae had some deep and archaic sources at her disposal, but this wasn't covered there. Taking another few steps, she shuttered as she heard the distinct crunch of bone under her boot. Her stomach wasn't easily turned but something about that particular sound did it for her every time. A deep breath might have been in order if she hadn't so desperately been attempting to avoid just such an action.

Sam had to be here. If sheer will was enough, he would have been standing in front of her. But having fallen ass backwards into this situation, she was counting on fate. Luck might not hold out for her but there had to be a reason other than klutziness. Walking deeper into the darkness, she grew ever quieter; searching out for any sound that might be Sam, a child or even that damned goblin.

* * *

Dean had not been back tracking but since may had gone forward, he was left with two other directions to go and he decided to head in the direction of the river that ran through the forest. He kept walking for almost 45 minutes, hoping to find some sign of the duende or Sam. As he neared the river, the other sounds in the forest seemed to still and Dean's ear perked up. It was always a sign. Always. And he would have done a dance of joy at the thought of being able to catch the goblin. But it caught him first. A rustle of leaves and then something heavy hit his midsection. And it brought the tall man to his knees, his weapon dropping from his grip. He hadn't been expecting that. It didn't help that Mae had softened him up a bit.

He tussled with it; throwing punches and attempting to use his height to an advantage. The creature had clung to him, attacking mostly with kicks and bites as it held tight. Dean rammed it against trees, rocks the ground, anything he could come in contact with as they rolled. It was barely bigger than a child, but it was surprisingly strong and quick, and clever. The biting was perhaps the most annoying part of its attack.

He was sure that this thing had taken Sam when it realized they were hunting it, lured them on to its ground and was going to take them down individually. Even if he could reach his gun, he didn't know if it would have any affect. He didn't know exactly what might kill or slow the thing. It felt… well, less than solid. It was just solid enough to be a threat but not quite firm enough to be flesh and bone. His mind flashed back to something Mae had said. At the time he had been more focused on how much she pissed him off but now he was glad she had been there. The redhead said something about clay and punching this thing felt similar to hitting an adobe wall.

Thinking on his feet, Dean grabbed the duende, crossed the remaining distance between him and river and plunged them both into the cold water. Again, they wrestled, Dean attempting to gain the upper hand and hold the damn thing under water long enough to drown it. The move was more of a gambit than a fully reasoned strategy but as the creature screamed and struggled against his vice like hold before eventually stopping, he was glad for the idea.

The creature, the pain in his ass, melted away into mud and washed away with the currants. A sigh danced passed Dean's lips as he got to his feet. With disgust, he shook the mass of water from his dripping sleeves. "Oh, I fucking hate camping." Still, as he slogged back to the sandy bank, he relaxed ever so slightly. This was possibly the best thing to happen on this entire God forsaken hunt. Now he just had to find Mae and Sam.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

* * *

"Okay. C'mon big boy, work with me here." She lifted Sam's rather large frame, grasping under his arms. There was no way she was going to be able to pick him up, as awkward as that would have been. So, she decided to let his ungodly long legs drag on the ground. "Okay, not much further." She told herself, considering her traveling partner was a useful as a sack of potatoes. Getting him out of the cave was one thing. And to think, she had been grateful, after finding that the kids weren't in the cave, that Sam was.

The goblin's lair wasn't as large as she thought it would be. She only had to search for about 20 minutes before she found herself at a dead end. A dead end with a live Sam. He had the nerve to be unconscious, however. She would have preferred him conscious for so many reasons even if his solution spared him from the worst the cavern had to offer. He was just too big in her opinion. Dragging him now, she wished he had never hit that growth spurt. He had been a cute, half pint back then. Now she might as well have been dragging a dead cow around with her.

She might have been able to lift Dean into a fireman's carry on a good day, but she wouldn't have been able to sustain it for long. She couldn't carry either man the miles back to the car. Her body ached, more now that she was thinking about it and the considerations she needed to take into account.

They were miles and miles into the woods and at mid-day, nightfall would catch them before they made it out of there to the relative safety of Dean's car. "I swear to God..." She mumbled, "You're totally worthless here Sam."

It took much longer to drag Sam out of the cave than it did to find him. Fresh air and the promising light had Mae taking a relieved breath. She had to stop. All things being relative, she felt like they were far enough from the cave for safety purposes. Although, she and Dean has been ambushed a way back so the range for this particular goblin was pretty extensive.

She lay Sam down gently and took a seat on a nearby rock. After taking a drink from her canteen, she sighed. If it were from the fall, the exertion, or the fact that her adrenaline had worn off, she was exhausted already. Mae was also well aware that she and Sam were making an awful racket as she struggled to move him through the forest. With him in this position, she had left herself completely open to an attack.

But he was alive so that was a point in their favor. Why did this victory feel so much like a loss? She didn't know if or when the duende might come back. She wasn't even totally sure that there was just one. They were pretty sure they had only seen one but perhaps not. She didn't know if Dean found it. Hell, maybe he too had made a misstep and was laying at the bottom of a valley unconscious or worse.

They had come up with virtually no plan after they'd separated. She hoped they were both under the assumption that they would meet back at their original camp site. By her estimate, they were about 5 miles away. On her own, she might have made it back in 2 hours, given the terrain. But having to drag Sam, she'd be significantly slower. Then there was the question of water and she would very likely need to eat. They hadn't brought enough supplies for more than two, three days tops.

They had hiked in for the better part of the day, with few breaks during the hike. By the map, they were about 15 miles from the car. So, realistically, they were a day and a half from the car, from help, and from civilization. It didn't seem like much distance to cover but on foot and injured, it was. And even then, she remembered that Dean had the keys. In spite of everything, she chuckled at the notion that the man would probably haunt her if she hotwired his damn car.

Right then, she simply couldn't go farther. Very quickly, she threw down a ring of salt, hoping that would at least provide her and Sam some sort of protection and barrier. At that point, she was finally able to take a better look at Sam. In the cave, she had managed to only assess that he was still breaking but the fact that he was still unconscious was troubling.

For her perspective, he did not appear to have a spine injury and if he did, she had already committed to moving him and, in all honesty, a spinal injury was probably less of a risk than being caught in that cave. His breathing, despite her rather rough handling of him was even. His heart rate seemed normal. His pupillary response was normal, and he was responsive to the sharp pinch she gave to his trapezius, all good signs so far.

He looked as if he had put up a fight at some point during his misadventure too. Scrapes, bruises and dirt colored his features too. The head wound was of more concern. It was older. The blood had dried, sticking some of his dark brown hair to his forehead. Well, at least they would all look like a set Mae thought with some bitterness. He had wounds that would need cleaning and bandaging. Mostly he would just be sore from the bruising.

Her best guess now was that he was either hit over the head by something or, just as she had, took a tumble down some unsteady terrain and then was taken to the cave. In either event, it was unclear how or why he had left the camp without letting her or Dean know. Right then, she hoped the small lucky streak she was on would hold out long enough for Sam to come to and walk his own ass out of the forest. Sitting back on her heels, her gaze wandered back up the steep embankment. Before there had been little luck that she would make it back up to solid ground that way. But with 190 pounds of useless on her hands, she'd be taking the long way home.

She brushed a hand through Sam's floppy hair. "Ah kiddo… when the hell did, we all get so screwed up? I mean everything seems like it was stacked against us but wasn't there a time when it seemed like we might be okay?"

Part of her really hoped he would respond or that she would get an answer from anyone at all. "Maybe not. Dude, you so need to wake up. You're unreasonably big, you know, that right?"

Mae shoved a hand through her hair, she had stopped trying to control it and it was a messy mass of red, dirt and leaves now. Now seemed to be the time to prove she was the smart one, right? If she couldn't MacGyver her way out of this, she had lost her touch. Searching the area, she found two long branches and with her few supplies, Mae fashioned a stretcher of sorts. She would still have to drag it, but it would be much less strain on both her and Sam and would lend her slightly better mobility.

Mae sighed as she pulled the contraption over to the younger Winchester. She certainly had her fill of hauling that boy already. Still, she grabbed his arms first and pulled him on to the stretcher, then moved to capture his legs and situate him on the apparatus. "God damn you're heavy."

Having situated him now, she knelt next to him, going through her bag. Needing to occupy herself with something other hand her aching body, she tended to his wounds. She gasped slightly when his eyes popped open.

Sam came to, up and swinging. "Hey, hey! Calm down there." Mae's strong steady grip was on his arms. "It's just me."

Sam tried to blink the haze out of his mind until the redhead's face came into view. She looked like she'd had just as big an adventure as he did. She leaned over him, red hair a tangled mess and her face and clothes streaked with dirt and blood. It was the prettiest damn face he'd seen in days. "Mae?"

"Yeah."

"Thank God." He crushed her in a bone-bending hug.

"Dude-" She wheezed, "you need a shower." He laughed as Mae ran her hands through his shaggy hair playfully.

"You look like hell."

"Thank you for noticing."

"Where's Dean?"

Make shook her head. "I'm not entirely sure. Somewhere back there." She said gesturing behind them."

"What happened?"

"We were ambushed by one of those creepy fuckers and thought...well, for a lot of reason, thought we might have a better chance finding you. I headed this way and he was going to try to lure the duende and take care of it. I'm not sure where he is now or... we've got to find him now and if we run into that thing, we'll have to take it out. How did you end up here?"

He almost looked sheepish. "I should have just come back but I had to go to the bathroom, so I headed off away from camp and um, I thought I heard something. I wasn't sure what, so I explored a bit further. Then a bit further. And I guess in the dark, I got turned around until I took a header down a slope. I woke up a few times when I was...in that cave or whatever but...I don't remember what else."

"That is one fast goblin then.

She helped him into sitting position, stopping when he pressed his hand to his head. "Wait, no, there are more of them."

She grabbed the pen light that she kept in her first aid supplies from her bag again, checking his pupils as she spoke. "More of them? Maybe we've just run into the same one a few times."

"I don't know… I've been kinda passed out. But there were definitely more than one, I'd say four or five. I don't think I was just hallucinating that. You didn't see anything?"

Mae shook her head her hands still steadying him. He must have looked worse than she did. She batted his hand away as he moved to touch the wound on his head. "No. Shit." With a huff, Mae looked around, not sure if she should be worried or relieved that they were still alone. "So… I guess we've still got a job to do."

"I have a theory." He said

She looked skeptical. "I don't know that this is time for theories, Sam."

"So, you and Dean figured out how to stop it then?" It was amazing how many expressions she and his brother shared sometimes, he though as Mae tilted her head and admitted that she didn't know.

"Well, not exactly. When you went missing—"

"I think I know." He cut her off.

"Had some time to figure it out while you were unconscious did ya?" Her smile was teasing but eyes serious.

"Before that. I remember reading something about these duendes."

"Yeah, we read a shit ton of stuff and got nowhere."

"Mostly nowhere. There was one thing, about them not being goblins so much as spirits. They take physical form using the mud, dirt, soil, whatever." Sam corrected as he attempted to push himself up but found it a bit more difficult than he first thought.

"Spirits of what?" Mae's hands were on his back and chest, trying to make him take it easy.

"Unborn or unwanted children."

Mae sighed, shaking her head. "This forest is like walking limbo then?"

"Could be. Not that it helps us."

"Well, that might be good news. It does explain how they can move so fast. Besides, spirits we can handle."

"Without bodies to salt and burn?" Mae grinned, patting his leg before she stood. "Roll with me Sammy, I'll show you all kinds of crazy."

* * *

Call it paranoia, she thought, but she was thankful she had brought some 'emergency' supplies. "Are you sure this will work?" He asked over his shoulder

"Not even slightly but we don't have a better idea." Sam nodded and watched her light the fire. It lit up the cave, reminding him why he didn't want to come back in. They had gone back in because Mae though they could deal with spirits easier than a goblin, considering none of the materials they had gone over gave a real explanation on how to kill them.

He and Mae began to prepare the space for the exorcism she claimed to know. Sam had his doubts that this would work but he didn't have any other ideas. Salting and burning wouldn't work because they had no idea who's spirits these might be and asking around for every lost or abandoned baby… they didn't have the time or resources. Mae suggested this. The slender redhead had brought in the dead-fall wood and brush she had found along with juniper branches.

Since Sam had seen more of the duendes than she had, she had him gather what was more of the clumps of red mud, which they had assumed were remains but were probably closer to something they could use like a taglock. She cleared a circle using one of the juniper branches. As she worked, Sam noted that she fell into… well, he might have called it a trance but that seemed all too mystical for this. Maybe she was just falling into a rhythm, a pattern as she swept and chanted something quietly. He couldn't hear it well enough to understand it and he wasn't sure it was even English.

Before she had started clearing the space, they had also built a stone ring and stacked it with lumber and brush. It had been tiresome to work with only the dull glow of her flashlight and but when they finally lit the fire, it brought the cave into stark reality. Exorcisms weren't his thing. They'd taken care of a number of spirits over the years and that one demon he had his brother had banished on the plane but his experience with them was limited.

It seemed Mae had a better idea of what she was doing. Her supplies weren't foreign: war water, exorcism powder, bundles of dried herbs for fumigation and of course the mud piles Sam had been gathering in the cave. The woman was pretty heavy into the craft it seemed. There weren't a lot of other choices and they had of course dabbled themselves.

He had been 14 the last time he'd seen her. When she had come back to see Dean, it was nearly 5 years later, and he was off at college. It wasn't until now that he realized she wasn't just the skinny girl they'd spent their summers with. She was a full-grown woman and clearly a hunter in her own right. Whatever her connection to their father or her uncle didn't seem to tie her as they did his brother.

Mae caught his eyes as he watched her. "What?"

"Nothing." He replied meekly as he went back to the task of gathering as much of the duendes he could sort out.

"You have that 'Let's talk look.'"

For some reason, the woman reminded him a little too much of Dean, bristling against real communication yet not quite able to keep up the façade. Sam frowned. "No, I don't."

"Whatever man." She had given him his opening, hoping that if he took it the ritual would have cut him off before they got too deep into anything. "Why are you here?"

She looked at him skeptically over the flames she had been casting into. "I told you; I ate it down that slope, found you and then you got this wild hair about these things being spirits."

"I meant hunting."

She paused as if he'd started speaking in a foreign tongue. "Hunting? I _am_ a hunter, just like you."

"I don't think either of us have to be."

"Well, listen, we can throw on some Edie Brickell, pour ourselves a glass of Chablis and weep about our tragic childhoods but right now, let's just kill these fuckers and get out of here, 'kay?"

While some might have been offended by her brusque comment, he was only reminded of why Dean loved her. And he smiled. "Okay, so how does this work." Mae raised an eyebrow. "Are you asking if we have to get naked and howl at the moon?" Sam offered a thin smile.

"Well, this is a little more earth mother than hunter."

Mae snorted. "You boy hunters are all the same. Not everything can be put to rest with the shot of a gun."

He laughed, maybe it was the head injury. "That's funny, coming from you."

"Ah well, the whole thing's an art, not a science. And it's a shot in the dark. We could have a whole bunch of pissed off tiny creatures in top hats on our hands in a few minutes."

Sam sighed but readied the sawed-off shot gun, knowing that they only had limited rock salt rounds and that might not work. He just had to keep them off Mae long enough to let her finish the exorcism. "I remember living in a world when phrases like 'pissed off tiny creatures in top hats' didn't come up."

The woman smiled now too as she threw a handful of powder on the fire, filling the cave with the scent of sage.

"Sounds like a boring world to me."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

* * *

This was quickly becoming the worst job. Even the wendigo was better than this. It wasn't just the freakin' goblins, his missing brother, his missing father, the forest, or even Mae. It was that he didn't have a good bead on any of it. He had dropped in the middle of this ocean with no clue where the shore was. He swam aimlessly, his least favored direction. Going the wrong way would have been far more preferable. Because of all of those things, he was so far off his game, he knew he was making huge mistakes.

He had decided to double back to the place he and Mae had separated and then try to follow her presumed path. She had been moving towards the location on the map and even though he no longer had the map or the compass, he understood the general route and direction she had been heading. With any luck, there would be enough geographic signs and maybe, just maybe, she had marked her trail to make it easier for her to find her way back.

Sighing, he dragged a hand over his wet hair. He was absolutely soaked and there was no time to do much about. Had he not lost his gear, he would have had a change of clothes but in the skirmish, he wasn't sure where one of the two bags he'd been carrying landed. At least he had found one bag and his gun as well. Oh, this was so not worth it. It didn't matter what Sammy said, next stop he would be having fun by any means necessary. Sammy needed to have some fun too even if that was just… whatever that kid found fun these days. After Nebraska… Bloody Mary… they needed a break. Whatever Sammy's secret was… *crack*

Dean stopped, straightened. He held perfectly still, waiting for that sound again, any sound. Nothing was ever easy. It could be Mae and Sam, but they weren't likely to sneak up on him. He closed his eyes and repressed a shudder as the thought about the limited list of things it could be. Great, just great, he though as he was accosted by two more goblins.

This was a bigger fight than any of them realized. No wonder these creatures had been near impossible to pin down. He wasn't sure any more if he had killed the original duende that got the drop on he and Mae. This was much worse. Particularly because it meant, in all likelihood, that Mae and Sam were under similar attacks.

Or course, Dean wasn't the sort of man to just roll over and die. He fought the only way he knew how: dirty and rough. The creatures were relentless and just when he thought he had the upper hand he would be back down on the ground, getting his ass kicked. "Fuck it."

He didn't know if it would do any good but pulling the handgun from the back of his pants, he opened fire. Admittedly, it was a move more out of frustration than any real strategy. It might slow them down at any rate.

* * *

It wasn't surprising, as Mae stared casting and the air began thickening with the pungent herbs and roots, she had cast into the flames, that the duende's started appearing. They too had started to fill the small cave. She did not know if they were coming back to this area or had been there all along and were only manifesting in more physical ways. Sam stepped in to the fight now, keeping her in the clear so she could finish her job.

There couldn't have been more than 12 but it was an angry 12. Sam did his best to draw their attention towards him rather than Mae. The woman chanted as he fought the things off. She was disturbingly good at blocking out everything, even when the duendes started getting by Sam. She kept going although her rhythm was shot to hell, as she had to kick her tiny attackers away.

It however was a good sign that they were on the right track and if she could finish the modified exorcism ritual, they could put an end to it. It however wasn't going as well as she'd hoped. God, she could use Dean's help here. For all his faults, he was good in a pinch and damn near ideal in a fight. Up to that point Sam had wisely been using the sawed off as a club but there were too many goblins… or spirits or whatever they were. And they bit. Hoping the salt rounds would do something more than just piss them off, the young man took aim and shot.

The shot was mindbogglingly loud as it echoed in the cavern, but Mae did not so much as cast a wayward glance at Sam. Keeping a hold of her book, she threw more of the exorcism powder on the fire as she chanted. It appeared to be weakening them, although not by much when there were so many. She just needed time. A few more minutes and this would either be over. Or they'd be dead. Either way, at least they weren't just running around in circles. The duendes had realized that Sam wasn't the real threat. After all, the blunt force the taller man was exercising didn't exactly hit home. It probably angered them more than slowed them down.

"Shit."

At the curse in the exorcism ritual, Sam turned to look at her. Mae was on her knees, covered in the damn tiny creatures. She fought against them. He was at her side in seconds about to pull them off her. She had to finish. As he was about to come to her rescue, the redhead grabbed the nearest blunt object: a rock. He watched with a mixture of astonishment and disgust as she bashed it against one of the creature's head. She didn't stop until the thing stopped moving and the body melted back into mud.

Sam wasn't given the opportunity to think more about it as the duendes continued to take him on as well. With his help, she was free enough to get her hands back on her book. Sam smirked. Mae certainly could hold her own. He should have been more worried about himself because while duendes had turned more attention on the redhead, he was not in the clear. With a last prayer, she tossed the cloth containing the remains and herbs to conclude the spell into the fire as the onslaught of tiny fists and teeth pulled her down.

Mae held her breath as the flame shot higher. Her eyes squeezed shut. And it stopped. With hesitation, she opened one eye and then the other. "Thank God," she muttered under her breath as she let her head rest again the cave wall.

The fire burned peacefully now, small pops and crackles that were almost calming at that point. The cave was otherwise quiet. No more angry spirits but mud everywhere. Mark that down as a success in the book. Letting her head roll to the side she saw Sam wasn't joining in her little celebration. He was passed out cold. "Well hell."

* * *

Dean opened his eyes to find himself splayed on the forest floor. Alone. Beat to hell and soaking wet, a fist full of mud in each hand. "What the hell?"

He hoped that this wasn't just some ploy, that Sammy had pulled it off and this was all over. He had never been so glad at the prospect of getting back to his real life, or whatever it was that he lived. He had to find his brother and Mae. The man had no plans of letting himself get taken by surprise again and he was not going to let it happen to Mae or Sam again.

He would give his right arm for a satellite phone right now or any kind of decent reception. It did however take them back to their roots of camping, hunting, and survival skills. He would find them, no doubt but there were no guarantees that they were safe or that those creatures were dead. From the time they were little, they were trained to track but also leave clues for the one of them to find. With any luck Mae still remembered or Sammy was with her. He had hiked for about an hour, rather aimlessly, until he noticed another sound. Relieved to know this wasn't an attack, he smiled.

Mae's indiscreet swearing was the sweetest sound he had heard this entire trip. Dean realized he was up against a nearly impossible search since had no idea where or if he was going to find the young woman and his kid brother. It was a wide area and going on vague directions only, he knew he had a better chance of not finding them. How she had gotten over the ledge was still a mystery, he though as he peered over the side of the steep slope. He could have called out to her but watching her get his giant brother on that contraption was more amusing if she was unaware of him being there. They were both safe, which put him at ease although looked like they had been just as occupied as he had been. Besides, his energy was better spent finding a way down to them.

Dusting her hands off on her pants, Mae stood. She was fairly proud of herself and her ingenuity. Not that she could or would brag about it. She didn't exactly have a lot of other hash marks in the win column on this one. Sam was out again but she wasn't as worried as she had been the first time. She too was worn out and would have preferred to not be awake either. But she was and she still needed to get Sam back to their original camp site. They were hardly in the clear.

Then there was Dean. With any luck, the ritual had exorcised all of the duendes in the area but, again, there was no way to know without talking to Dean or checking out the town. She found it odd that she was worried about him. The man was competent, more than just competent really, as a hunter. But this was a tricky one and he wasn't thinking clearly.

She knew a part of that was her fault, that she had antagonized him more than necessary and she wasn't even clear as to why. He was doing the same thing to her. They were both well aware that their bickering and fighting had gotten out of hand. She understood how that had clouded their thoughts. The other issue clouding his thinking on this was his missing brother. While the lanky younger Winchester was no longer lost, Dean had no way to know that they weren't both dead. Although, she was fairly certain he was more concerned about Sam being alive than he was about her.

She needed Sam awake and somewhat cogent so they could get out of this. They hadn't saved the kids, but they had stop more from going missing. The hunters' mantra of 'you can't save everyone,' echoed in her head. It wasn't the way she had wanted this to go down. Mae sighed, casting a glance at Sam as she picked up one end of the makeshift stretcher and started to make her way off the mountain. He looked almost peaceful.

To her side, she heard the skittering of dirt and rocks. She was not looking forward to another round of fighting and quite frankly, she wasn't certain she had one in her. If they hadn't actually destroyed the duendes… Mae lowered Sam to the ground gently as she crouched, trying to make it look discreet as she slid the wicked looking knife out of her boot. She didn't even know if it would help her, but all of her other weapons were in her bag and not so easy to reach. Waiting a moment for the rustling again, she turned with the knife ready to strike.

A relieved sigh deflated her body when she realized it was only Dean. "Fuck sake, Dean." She wasn't about to tell him that he'd scared her, so she just took in his disheveled appearance. "What the hell have you been doing?"

"Went for a swim. You?"

She tucked the knife back into her boot, stood back up before resting a fist on her hip, trying to hide the smile she felt coming over her. "We were busy saving the day. You look like crap."

He was covered in mud and water from the river although she was certain she didn't look much better. "Yeah and you'll win the beauty pageant yourself."

Mae had taken a spill down that hill she had thought wasn't any big deal. When her feet when flying out from under her, she was glad that little goblin had gone to lengths to separate them because while she might end up toeless or dead. Her red hair stuck out at odd angles with leaves and dirt, and blood, dirt, and mud scattered around her face and ripped clothing. "I'm no Ned Beatty but I have my charms."

She was a weird girl, but he laughed all the same. "Fair enough. What's wrong with Sam?"

"He's total and complete dead weight. But I think he'll be okay. I mostly wanted to get him out of here. We had a hell of an afternoon and... he's just unconscious but I don't think there's anything more serious."

Dean wasn't sure. "Did you take care of them? There's more than one you know."

"Yeah, I got that. Turns out they were spirits. We laid down some mojo and took care of the lot of 'em."

The girl sighed. "Why don't you help me lug his ass back to camp?"

"Camp?" He asked as he went to help her pick up his brother. "We are not going back to camp. Even though those things are dead, we're getting the hell outta here."

Dean took the lead as he had found the way down to the gully. He would have been satisfied getting out of their as fast as possible. Mae just had to argue. "Hey pal, I'm all for outta here but maybe you notice it took us a day and a half to get this far and we won't be making any land speed records with your brother outta commission. Dead goblins or not I'm not making this hunt perfect by trying to make our way back in the dark."

He hated when she was right, but she was. "Fine. You couldn't have found a more inconvenient place to have this little lie down."

She glowered even though she knew he was only trying to get a rise out of her. Mae was going to take the high road but still felt the need to complain about something as they made their way to higher ground. "Dude you brother is freakish. Who gets this big?"

Dean smiled all the same, glad she couldn't see the grin. No one could call Dean or Mae short compared to the general population but his 'little' brother towered over them both. "Aw, c'mon teamwork, Red."

"Teamwork, my ass." She grumbled but felt better about this whole hunt than she had in days.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

* * *

Mae threw the empty pack to the ground with a huff "Well… this is just dandy."

"C'mon Mae, we'll be heading out in the morning. Only a few hours out here. You're a tough girl."

That far too delicate eyebrow arched as she shot him a deadly stare "Except for the fact that we're down to two sleeping bags and no tent. You know-"

She cut herself off. She was just angry and there was no point taking it out on Dean. He was actually being decent, downright sweet, for Dean anyway. With another huff, she pushed the annoyance away. 'Be nice,' she chided herself mentally. By the time they carried Sam back to their camp site, they were both beyond exhausted. It would have been easy actually to just fall asleep anywhere.

Instead, they had both gone about their separate tasks setting up camp until she had examined the state of their supplies. Mae definitely took better care of her toys and after all this he could not blame her for being pissed that he lost the sleeping bag she'd lent him. He could see her temper roiling, just below the surface but she didn't let it spill over. Dean wasn't sure if it was their earlier fight, which loved nothing but did release a great deal of pent up energy or the sheer state of exhaustion due to hiking, injury, fighting the goblin-spirits, and carrying his brother. Did any of that really matter?

On some level, trying not to fight with him was nearly worse than fighting with him because the fight came naturally. Defensiveness was easier than restraint or even openness. Maybe if she clocked him, she might feel better. Without a doubt, that wasn't true. She'd already hit him, a number of times and all that had really provided her was a sore hand and utter feeling that she wasn't remotely good enough to be hunting again.

It was easier to focus on something else, someone else. Mae would look after Sam for a while as she got herself back to neutral. Mae sighed as she stood back up, decided the young man was as good as he was going to get out here and hoped that by morning all was right again. There weren't any signs that he was seriously injured, only deeply tired and in need of the time to recover.

It was crazy; Dean knew that but as crazy as it was, he could do little to tamp down the feeling of jealousy that swelled in him as he watched her. She took care of his brother with what looked like tenderness and professionalism. There weren't a great many people he would judge capable of looking after his brother, but Mae seemed to be up to the task. Her hands were gentle, efficient and hypnotic as the examined him. Dean couldn't help but think about them on him. He shook his head. It was better not to pay attention. He finished building the fire and finding enough wood to keep it going until sunrise.

"You're lucky I'm a lady."

She grumbled as she took off his shoes, rolled him and then tucked him into the sleeping bag she and Dean had used to carry him. It shouldn't have surprised Dean that she would put Sam first, just like he would. That's how they were raised. After Sammy was settled, she turned back to the fire.

Grabbing her bag, she took out those camping supplies he had made fun of her for at first. Now, he was glad the she was the prepared one. She set up a pan to boil water they had collected from the river on their way to the camp. She also prepared them something to eat. She had brought nifty meals, not unlike the MREs his father had occasionally forced them to eat, but much better. She took two out, in preparation for the boiling water.

She also took out a small jar he hadn't seen before. Mae opened the lid and poured some of the powder into her hand before scattering it into the fire. It took a moment before the scent reached him, but it was one of those few things about this work that was still comforting, almost reassuring. "What's that?" he asked.

"Uncrossing powder. Uh, it's a little bit of garlic, clove, lemongrass, peppermint, and lavender. Among a few other things."

"Good idea."

"It's not my first rodeo."

God, he hated the fact that he liked her. It was the weirdest things too. He raised an eyebrow as she said something: a blessing, prayer, or even a spell. He didn't say anything about it. He just went to check on his brother, needing something to do more than anything else.

"She's full on nuts but she's pretty hot." He said so only Sam could hear or would have if he were awake.

He sighed a bit, slipping off his worn jacket. He was mostly dry but still a bit damp from his trip through the river. He really wished he had another change of clothes. Some time by the fire might help. Why he liked her seemed more than evident when they weren't fighting. He told himself that he had plenty of reasons to hate her. But if he let his thoughts wander and when he thought about her good qualities, he could barely muster hate. Anger, hurt, jealousy: those feelings were and sometimes ran so strong he could hardly see through it. Other times, his heart filled with tenderness for the woman. _Those_ feelings had been there a great deal longer than anything else had.

With those feeling currently at the forefront of his mind, he stood and crossed to her. Mae's eyes went wide as if she had been expecting him to simple lay down and go to sleep. "What happened here?" He took her chin in his hand despite her struggling to pull away. "Those things get the best of you?"

Mae tried to shrug off the unwanted attention. "No. I found the cave by doing a face plant down a mountainside. Must have caught my jaw."

He caught her eyes, perhaps hoping to find something there that would give him some kind of solution or resolution. There were no answers there. "It's a pretty nasty cut Mae." He ducked to examine it in the flickering firelight, his hold on her impossible to escape.

"It's fine."

"No, it's not. Cool off, okay?" Frowning made her look more like a petulant child that the tough hunter she was at heart. It was a bad sign that he found it adorable. "Just hold still and I'll fix you up. You can't do it yourself."

"I don't need your help." For a moment he was so close she could feel his breath on her neck. His rough fingers trailed so tenderly and lightly over her cheek, around the wound that she had to repress a shiver.

She didn't want him this close to her. "Bullshit. You may not want it, but you need it. C'mon, I'm not that bad. "He said in a gentle tone. "I don't have your fancy training, but I think I can take care of this. Don't worry, I won't mess up that pretty face of yours." Dean had a way of flirting at the most inopportune times.

"I'm not _that_ vain." She would have taken the scar if she could have gotten away from this version of Dean. "Then what's the problem? Me?"

Subtlety was not an art he had mastered when interacting with this particular woman. It was worse that he was right. It might have been different if Sam was fixing her up. Mae would have much rather been fighting. Almost. Without the fight, with the tenderness he was displaying, her insides twisted with a strange eagerness to be near him, she hadn't felt in a long time. His eyes were on her, full of concern and something else she refused to name.

"I can't pretend that everything is okay."

Dean was surprised she had said anything, but he was unclear if she was talking about her injuries or everything else. She usually played things closer to the chest and her confession seemed genuine.

"It's not. That doesn't mean I'm gonna let you have your face ripped open. It was always a pretty face too."

Self-conscious with this near intimacy, Mae attempted to shift away again. He was gentle yet strong as he held her chin and brushed the wayward clumps of hair away from her face. The fire wasn't the best light to work by so sitting her down on a nearby rock, he grabbed the flashlight and first aid kit from her things. Dean set it on the ground, angled so that he could work easier.

Mae stopped as he touched her again, sensing she was about to make a break for it. She realized however, there was nowhere for her to go. "Mae, I don't want to fight anymore, particularly about the shit we've been fighting about. I don't have it in me anymore, okay?" He didn't keep eye contact with her and took his hand from her face to get something to clean the dried blood and assorted grime from her face. A slight confusion set upon her face.

His expression was so far away when he returned to her. Their eyes finally met; there was sadness, longing and something still unspeakable between them. It wasn't the hurt and betrayal they both felt that led to one too many fights. It was that part of the fight neither wanted to deal with. "Tilt your head back for me, sweetheart."

She did. Dean went to work, cleaning her with an unusual delicacy. A fair amount of blood had run down her shirt, but he knew Mae would not be appreciative if he moved lower than her neck. There had only been a small intake of breath through her nose as the cold sheet pre-moistened with alcohol touched the open wound. He had not expected more, even if it had hurt like hell Mae would not have cried out.

The cut wasn't as bad as the blood had indicated. Butterfly sutures would do the job. "Make sure to use the-"

Dean cocked an eyebrow at her as he held the bottle of tincture of benzoin up for her to see. "I'm not just another pretty face Mae. And for the record," He said as he opened the bottle and poured some on a cotton pad to dab the cut with, "You sure as hell don't hit like a girl anymore."

With a sigh, a sigh twined with a subtle laugh, she let her defenses fall just a bit. "Yeah? Well, you take a punch with the best of them."

It only took a few more minutes before he had cleaned up her face and applied the bandages. Far too long for Mae's tastes as it brought the man close enough for her to see his freckles. Mavis stood, dusting of her old pants in a vain gesture. A fair share of holes and rips scarred the fabric. Now they were dirty and bloodied but so was the rest of her. Walking a fair enough distance from him in the small space, she realized there was nothing to do until the water was boiling.

She watched the fire with intense focus as if she could make the time go faster by doing so. It occurred to her then that perhaps she was in over her head. A promise made to John Winchester was not one easily broken. There were certain things that were difficult to unlearn. Despite everything, she thought that she might still march into hell on his orders.

This life hadn't been forced upon her the same it was on Sam and Dean. She had never understood why. Robert Singer was just as devoted to hunting as the patriarch of the Winchester clan was and he had trained her well. But she wasn't meant to be a soldier, at least not if her uncle had his way. There was a softness, a nurturing to him that John didn't have. The draw of the hunt however felt as if it were in her blood. She had taken to it. Had Bobby just let things be and not taken her in, not showed her how to protect herself she might have lived the life he had wanted for her.

The only problem was, she was a hunter. No amount of good intentions or separation of her life took that first hunt out of her mind or turned her heart. When Dean offered her the heated pouch of food, she started. How long had she been lost in thought? He said nothing more, just offering her a slight smile and sat next to her.

They couldn't go back, she reminded herself. No matter how things felt right then, how it was easy to fall in a familiar old pattern and perhaps, familiar old feelings. Right then she didn't feel particularly like talking. They ate in silence and Mae hoped to keep it that way. It was painfully silent. The fight was over, the danger had passed, and the case wrapped up essentially. It didn't feel done.

With any luck, Sam would wake in the morning, the trio would hike back to the car, and they'd head back to the motel. Then this would all be just another episode of their lives, hardly memorable. That didn't sit right with Dean. Mavis was a chapter in his life that he could never seem to finish. He should, he knew. This would be a perfectly fine way to end things. Nothing was really resolved but he could get comfortable with the answer that they simply couldn't get along for sustained periods of time. It was okay.

However, he did finally have her alone for the first time in a long time. It was an opportunity he wasn't going to let pass. If only he knew what to say to her. He found himself unusually awkward with the woman. Actually, with Mae he was always somewhat ill at ease. For all his prowess, all his charms he was reduced to his barest elements with her. It used to be a good thing. Now he felt empty because of it. Because she didn't seem to be affected the same way anymore.

"You don't have to stay up with me."

They had been sitting there for at least half an hour after they had finished eating in that silence before the redhead spoke. His gaze focused back towards her. "Yeah well… I can't sleep."

It wasn't exactly true. He felt like he could sleep for a month. And he was almost certain, he should have just gone to sleep, left it alone but that wasn't his style. "You should try and sleep Mae. It's a long hike back tomorrow even with Sammy on his feet."

"I know. I'm the one who told you that."

Mae couldn't stifle the yawn and Dean looked back at her. "Get some sleep Maeby."

Her face fell and she shot him a contemptuous glance. "Oh, you're not gonna start up calling me that are you?"

He smiled back. "What's wrong with it?" He could see that she wasn't all that mad really, just annoyed and perhaps a bit embarrassed.

"A, it's an adverb and b… it's just so… I'm not a kid anymore." In the same way Sam didn't like being called Sammy, Mae didn't care for being called Mavis or Maeby or anything other than Mae.

"I noticed."

That caused her to frown. Dean had meant it but perhaps it came off as too shallow, like he was trying to get somewhere with her. He wasn't. It was however difficult not to see all the changes. Still, he had her talking now and wasn't going to shut it down.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

* * *

"Thank you for finding Sam"

Dean was sincerely grateful. This hunt might have gone down differently if it were just him and his brother working it. While there would have been a more concentrated effort on focusing on the job, rather than their interpersonal issues, this was still a more complex job than any of them had anticipated. In all likelihood though, it would have been more difficult with less than three people and he might not have found his brother at all.

"I was just doing my job."

Dean Winchester knew that game by heart, played it far too often. There were times he wanted her to be a little colder and detached but now wasn't one of them. "You can't even take a complement, a thank you?"

"I don't need one. I would have done the same for anyone else."

"So, because it was me, my brother, what, you had to go to extra effort? Damn, Mae. Do you really hate me that much?"

The man couldn't let it be. She was trying to disengage. In a few hours, she could put this behind her. Whatever it had been, there were only uncomfortable emotions tied to this family for her now. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah. Great."

As if he needed more reason to hate camping. Their détente seemed to have passed. He didn't know what he had expected. Of course, it was over. But now, it felt closer to done. It was good he supposed; he had always had questions as to how she felt. She gave him some answers, not real ones but she was stubbornly refusing to look at the situation. Mae was cold now, distant and indifferent. It was understandable after these many years, doing this job that she would have become a different woman. Why the hell did any of that matter to him? It was obvious that she had stopped loving him a long time ago; he was just too dumb to realize it.

"I don't hate you Dean." Anywhere other than the silence of forest, he might not have heard her. He didn't have more to say but he looked from the fire to the redhead. "I've never been able to hate you. Wouldn't things have been easier if I truly did hate you?"

Regarding her in the yellowy light, he knew that he couldn't bring himself to give up. She could walk all over him time and time again. He only hoped now that he was wise enough to not let her. "Yeah, I tried pretty hard too."

She gave a slightly self-depreciating laugh next. "To hate me or you?"

"You. I wanted to. I wanted to hate dad too... but I... couldn't." Dean sighed. He knew this was his last chance. She would take off and next time the need to reconnect came up, he knew she would ignore it. He could get the answers to the most important questions and risk nothing by being honest with her. Maybe she would see the same. "Mae… what went wrong?"

"Well, we got our asses handed to us by...basically possessed mud in dumb hats… of all the part of the lore that were true, I didn't think that would have been one of them."

"I meant with us."

"Oh… yeah well… lots." Her eyes went back to the fire and even from her profile, he could see the wheels turning in her mind. "That's an understatement."

They fell into silence again. Mae had thought a great deal about what had gone wrong since she'd picked up that call from John. She wondered if some of her drive to let Sam and Dean know she had been following them was a strange sort of penance.

A lot had gone wrong, too much, she though. For her, a lot of the things than had gone wrong started long before the breaking point for Dean. A long time before she had hurt him. While she had told him, he didn't really know or understand what had happened that night, she wasn't certain what John had told him. He had the barest of details, but it seemed no one had bothered to give him any measure of truth.

Did he need to know? Did he want to know? There was at least a decade of incidents, seemingly happenstance or bad fortune that Dean took as such. Mae knew differently. One thing that had become quite clear is that he was in the dark on a great many details of hunting.

Maybe he deserved to learn more, perhaps understand more. Dean wasn't going to forgive her. She didn't need his forgiveness, but it seemed that there was a part of him that did want to find some morsel, some fact that made it possible for him. The guilt she felt wasn't fully related to Dean. She didn't feel guilt over the sex. It wasn't the sort of sex or betrayal Dean thought it was. She felt guilt and a great deal of it when it came to everything that happened following that night.

Despite her claims to the contrary, she knew Dean loved her and perhaps still loved her. And she had loved him, with all her heart. She was only slightly hesitant to acknowledge that she still loved him. There had been others but never quite like Dean. Mae turned her head to look at him. His eyes were closed but he wasn't asleep. She didn't expect him to sleep.

Watching him, she marveled at how calm he could look sometimes, even when he was rather tense. He was quite handsome, always had been. His boyishness hadn't completely melted away. Mae allowed herself a small smile. He looked rather rugged with his two-day-old stubble, shadows and light from the fire playing against his features. His ragged appearance did not detract from the package. Hell, he played perfectly into that long-standing fantasy of a knight in shining armor. Only her knight didn't ride a white horse or act particularly courtly. He was a good guy with a bad boy patina.

She was not supposed to still feel this way about him. At this point in her life, he shouldn't have had any effect on her. Then again, it was clear they had a mutual effect on each other. Mae could see Dean's confusion. For her, the buildup had been gradual, little things that had changed her in the time they spent apart. Dean had no way of knowing exactly what had happened to her, she'd hesitated ever saying it, for fear that it would drive them further apart.

They had never gotten the chance to know each other as adults. Things might have been different if they had taken the opportunity but that was another thing they couldn't change. There were not any questions on what had driven that final wedge between them. She tried to forget about the whole thing, it was layer and layer of hurt and pain. But ignoring it didn't solve anything with the situation she found herself in with Dean.

There wasn't anything she could do to fix it either. How did you come back from that soap opera situation? How could she explain what had happened? There had to be an upper limit on what he would realistically believe.

His eyes opened then and seemed to pin her, which sank like a stone in her stomach. If he could tell what was running around in her mind, she didn't get an indication of it. "You should get some sleep. Take the other sleeping bag. It's yours, after all." His voice was a little rough and it made her smile.

"Could you sleep out here?" A little laugh and slight smile were his response before he got up and moved closer to her.

She didn't bother hiding the surprised expression but made no point of it when he sat next to her. "I thought you liked camping." Dean could make nice, he wanted to, he reminded himself.

"I used to. When it was me and Bobby and you, your dad and Sam… it used to be fun. Like, when it didn't feel like training. Now the only time I go out into the woods is to hunt. And things become much less fun when something's trying to kill you back."

"You got me there."

"I always thought you would like camping. I never got why you didn't." Exhaustion colored her words, as did the cautious openness. It was hard to carry so much around especially when he seemed able to say or do just the right thing to set her off.

"It's cold, your bed is rocky and there is a distinct lack of attractive women out here, present company excluded. No thanks sweetheart, I'll take a motel any night."

She chuckled. "Well… I wish I had more small talk. I rarely have to make it."

"Me either. Can I ask you something serious?" He gauged her reaction to the simple inquiry; she was tense and on edge.

"Serious?" Mae let out a long sigh. "I don't know Dean, I'm not too big on serious either."

"I mean it."

There wasn't any question what it was about and hell, at least out here they could yell as loud as they wanted, and they weren't likely to be attacked. The woman relented since there wasn't a point in fighting. "Fine, go ahead."

"What's that tattoo on your back?"

She almost laughed at that. "The tattoo? It's a tattoo, Dean."

"I can see that. What's it mean?" Mae let herself snicker now.

"It means I got tattooed once." Evasiveness suited her somehow but that didn't mean he liked it. Damned if he wasn't once again torn between affection and annoyance with her all over again. But it was only a few moments before she sighed. "I spent some time in Thailand and Cambodia, a bit ago."

Dean offered her an expression between disbelief and amazement. Mae had gotten herself a little life, not normal perhaps but a life. He had been thinking about that more now that Sam was back hunting. He could see just how happy his brother had been having a real life. Was Mae? Had she been pulled out of that life she used to have too? So many questions came to mind with that one little fact. "You spent some time in Cambodia?"

"That's what I just said isn't it?" Even though Mae didn't succeed in keeping the sharpness out of her voice Dean didn't notice. He appeared downright entranced with her now.

"Yeah but… you act like it was just so casual, like everyone spends some time in Cambodia." Mavis shrugged.

"It's not like... it's possible to be a hunter and have a life."

"For you that was Cambodia?" It occurred to him that this was something he should have known about her. He didn't even know that she had wanted to travel. Sure, their families had been all over the U.S. except Hawaii. Dean knew Mae liked the open road like he did but he hadn't thought about going anywhere you couldn't drive. Cambodia had been a draw for her, why on earth was that?

"And Thailand."

"So, you flew like…thousands of miles to get some ink?"

Mae shifted against the tree trunk, letting her eyes pass from Dean, to the fire, and to Sam for a moment. Surely, they could be discussing something else. This felt too personal. "It's call a yant and it's not just a tattoo. Yantra is… spiritual, okay? I worked hard to get this."

"Tell me about it."

"You'll just make fun of me."

"No, I won't."

"That's all you do."

"I can do other things Mae."

"Whatever." They argued like children sometimes. Bickering always seemed to crop up between the two even when they were getting along. It wasn't even an argument, but she knew they couldn't have a normal conversation. Even an abnormal conversation wasn't easy to come by.

"Mae you know…" He wasn't sure what exactly he was going to say to her. Was there even anything to say? He could charm a woman, but he wasn't trying to charm Mae right then. He could talk to people on a case, but he didn't have an innate gift for gab, and he wasn't the sort to have deeply soulful conversations. With Mae, one of those could end bloody. Still, he wasn't able to find anything to say that didn't end up annoying one or the other of them. He wanted, for a reason he couldn't put his finger on, to be friends with her again.

"What?" She finally asked, pausing as if she didn't want to know.

"Nothing."

"Then why did you say something?" It was asked under her breath for the most part but loud enough for Dean to hear.

"I just thought that maybe we could try and get along. We used to get along."

She softened a bit. When they were on the same page, there was no one she had a better connection with. "To get along, we have to be able to have a conversation that doesn't lead to us shouting, or throwing punches, or storming out."

"In all fairness, you're the hit-ier one of us."

Mae smirked a bit. "Well maybe you need to get your ass kicked by a girl from time to time, to keep you humble."

"You could at least pull your punches."

"Maybe next time. You know, we've both said and done things that we can't change."

"So that's it? You're fine with things like this?"

After a hesitant pause, she answered. "No. I'm not."

"Then maybe we should… try and work it out." Dean tried to think up the number of things he could tell her that would merit the 'you're crazy' look from the young woman as that statement had. It was an incredibly short list.

"You wanna talk? To me? About the past?" More emphasis rested on each statement as she said them, plumbing the darkness for the reason Dean was being so chatty.

He shrugged it off like it was no big deal even though his stomach was doing somersaults at the prospect of a genuine conversation with the woman. "Yeah, that such a bad thing?"

"Well, I've seen stranger things but not by much."

Dean knew it went against his 'no chick flick moments' rule but it was just the two of them now and he _needed_ to know. "Funny. So…" He trailed off, not sure how to start.

There wasn't anything more that could be done to avoid the conversation and fighting about it was pointless. All she could do would be honest and as genuine as she could. Mae knew that the issues were different for both of them. He cared about a different side of this and she would address that first. "What are you looking for Dean? What is it that you want me to say about… everything?"

"I don't know. Just tell me why?" It should have mattered. Even if Mae didn't care about him, or their relationship she should have cared that his dad was almost like her Dad. John Winchester had treated the girl just as he did his own kids. Except for the sex part.

"Dean… I don't have a why."

"So, you just…screwed Dad because you could?" Dean actively tried to avoid thinking about the act. He hadn't walked in on them together but… it was good enough. They were both half-dressed and he knew that 'I made a big mistake' look that came with hasty sex. All the same, there was a reason they both did it and even a painful answer would have been better than nothing.

"No. Have you ever… c'mon, Dean you know sometimes things just fly out of control and one moment you're doing one thing and the next…"

"You're fucking your boyfriend's dad?"

Dean was blunter than most, but the words still hurt. "It wasn't like that. You and I were not together. And it wasn't even about sex. The sex was just-"

"I really don't wanna hear about what screwing my dad was like for you."

"I wasn't about to tell you. You asked why. It's not a simple answer. It wasn't because I wanted John. It wasn't because I wanted to hurt you. I didn't want either of those things, particularly hurting you."

He wanted to believe that. Hell, if he could have, he would have believed it didn't happen. If she could just tell him it was all in his mind, that it was a spell, or he was drunk… anything. "Well…"

"Dean, I don't expect you to forgive me okay? I know… I know whatever happens, your family comes first so-" Mae wanted to reach out for him, not because she needed him to tell her it was okay but because she wanted him to know it wasn't him. It's not you, it's me was simply too trite to attempt to tell him even if it were true for her.

"You're an idiot Mae." She looked at him, annoyed. As she opened her mouth to retort the statement, Dean continued. "You _were_ family sweetheart. I loved you."

She looked down at her hands and replied quietly. "I know."

"You knew?"

Her brow was raised in an irrefutable way. "Because I'm not an idiot. I knew you loved me, I loved you too but… don't you see Dean, we never could have had anything real."

"What?" Was that what this was about? Dean had reached that place a long time ago even when he was still with her. They weren't white picket people and maybe he never would have married her, but he would have loved her. That was as tangible as anything else was.

There was more than a little venom in her tone. "What, you think we would have lived happily ever after?" Perhaps not happily ever after but damned if he didn't know that she was closer to him than almost anyone ever had been. "No… but maybe happy then."

"You're wrong, we wouldn't have been." Mae sounded just as certain about that as he was about his perspective. They would have been happy, he knew in his soul. What had messed her up, he wondered. "You're so sure?"

"Yeah."

"So, to make certain, you slept with my dad?"

It was an unfair jab. He wanted to strike back just a little because he knew he could have been there for her. They could have had, if not a fairy tale life, a decent life.

Mae's face contorted and she tried to compose herself. "No!"

Her explanation sounded strained. As Sam had put the question in his mind, he needed to know now. "Dad didn't… force you, did he?"

"What? No. Not like that."

Her startled response was a comfort. The idea that his father would force any woman, let alone Mae was something he didn't know if he could deal with. Still he didn't like the other half of her statement. "Not like that? What does that mean? So, it was sort of like that?"

"It means that while I wasn't angling to get down with your old man, I didn't stop him."

"Did you want him to stop?" Her breath came out sharp, but she didn't speak right away.

"I-yes. But I couldn't. It's not like it lasted hours. It happened and it was like neither of us were in control. But I did know that you...would act and feel the exact way you did. I didn't expect what happened to happen but once it had, once you had decided you knew what happened, I took advantage of it. I... that's what I wanted"

The woman had changed. Something cold and dark was a part of her now and it brought up a feeling of compassion he hadn't anticipated. "You could have found someone else."

She shook her head. "I wasn't looking to end it that way. You've got this all wrong. I didn't want sex. I just wanted… I wanted out."

Dean frowned, scooting a little closer. She had to be out of her mind because this wasn't exactly making sense to him. "Out? You came back to get out?"

She sighed but was on guard now, predicting the fight that wasn't coming. "Your dad didn't tell you anything about any of this?

He shook his head. "I don't get your story whole...I mean half the time you act like you wanted to sleep with my dad and the rest of the time, it's like you were forced. I don't know but it doesn't make sense."

She pressed her lips together. "It's not that simple. But at the end of the day, when it comes to me having sex with your dad, I-why should I justify my sex life to someone I'm not sleeping with?"

"Because we used to sleep together and... I mean, you picked a hell of person to have a one-night stand with."

Mae was quiet for a few moments longer. So long that he wondered if she had shut down again. "Dean, if you had walked in on me with someone else, would you feel the same way? Would you have stayed mad at me for 3 years?"

"No. I-I don't know. Probably not. I wouldn't have enjoyed it but...I would have gotten over it, I guess."

"And um, if you'd walked in on your dad with some chick who wasn't me? Would you have been pissed off at her for 3 years?"

"No. But-you both were sneaking around that whole day. I was sent off on some fake case, don't think I didn't figure that one out. You and Dad spun a hell of a lie around that and then that. What am I supposed to think?"

She nodded. "I-I guess I didn't know you had figured that out."

"I'm not a fucking idiot Mae! I might not have figured out exactly what was going on but I sure as hell can figure out if a werewolf is there or not."

"Yeah, that...We... I suppose I do owe you an apology for keeping what we were up to from you. But it wasn't some secret sex romp, okay? It was...we were hunting down a demon or so we thought. Your dad just wanted to keep you out of the field on this one. But um, it was a trap. One neither of us saw coming. You know, I... your dad is really driven."

He snorted. "You think?"

"I mean, more than...you know, normal. I think he wanted to find something more on that job."

"Meaning."

"Your dad has secrets. Good, bad, indifferent, I'm not judging," she added at his disbelieving expression. "I don't entirely know what he was doing, what he's doing now but..."

"But what?"

"I could be off, okay? But I think he's committed to an end goal that you're not fully aware of."

His eyes narrowed. "And you know this because of a day or so you spent with him years ago?"

"Some, yeah. We didn't... looking back, if he wasn't convinced that he found what he was looking for, he wouldn't have gone in so...recklessly. I know he realizes that's what happened."

"You don't know that."

"Dean, I promise you I'm not attacking him or trying to lay the blame for what happened. If it happened today, believe me I would have pushed back more against what he thought he'd found. He just wanted it to be true so much. And I know he's more careful because of what happened."

"Please tell me what happened. I know there's more than...I mean, at the very least I'm getting the idea that I didn't walk in on... my dad banging you. So... what exactly did I walk in on?"

She sighed. What did she have to lose. Either this would provide some closure or, well, it wouldn't be that hard to walk back to her car if he just left her in the middle of the wood. "You're not totally wrong. Sex happened. It... like I said, it was a trap. Something like a hex or spell or...I don't know curse. We both got caught up in it and... it was like being possessed, like someone or something else was driving me and it was this...urgent need. I couldn't stop myself from...I tried to stop myself, but I had no control and until it happened, I didn't regain my sense, my control."

"And dad just...went with it?"

Mae shook her head. "He was under it too. I think the same thing happened to him. It was primal, uncontrollable, and unwanted. We weren't...we absolutely weren't interested in sleeping with each other. If it makes you feel any better, it was hands down the worst sex I've ever had but at least it was quick."

"That doesn't help. Maybe a little. You coulda told me this three years ago."

"I told you, I didn't want to. You weren't the one I was concerned about most in that moment."

"Why didn't you just tell me you didn't love me anymore? Why let me make a fool of myself with you and... believe that maybe we'd...be together."

"What exactly did I do to indicate to you that I was interested in you or that I'd sleep with you?"

"Well... I just assumed-"

She cut him off. "But did I ever tell you that I was interested in any of it that day?"

"I-no. You seemed distinctly not into it."

"That's because I wasn't."

"I wish you'd just told me you didn't love me anymore."

"I... that wasn't the issue."

"Wait, you're telling me you still loved me?"

"It's not like you didn't still love me."

"Then why... why weren't you interested? It's not like...we haven't always had an attraction to each other."

"Yeah, we...I loved the boy I fell in love with when I was...13. It was almost 10 years later. And a huge chunk of that, we weren't even together."

"That doesn't matter if you still loved me. I was still in love with you."

Mae closed her eyes. There was an almost an innocence about his perspective on love and sex. Even now and she felt as if she were somehow betraying that spirit of her first love all over again by not feeling the same way. "I don't think love was ever our problem, you know? But I also don't think that..." She sighed, as tears welled a bit more. She was grateful for the darkness, having this conversation without having to look directly at him. "Dean, I didn't want to rehash all of this, with you of all people because...because you were always going to make it about your ego, about you. And none of this was about you. What happened that night wasn't about you. I was the one who that happened to, I was the one who got...I was hurt, I lost the most."

"Mae-"

"No, you wanted know so bad, so here it is. I was used, I was set up, and you know when I left to go home, I-took off on a whim to find...I don't know what. But I left a life, I left someone I loved at home on this...whim, this job. And the whole time, I thought the worst thing that might happen was that I'd end up in bed with you. Because no matter how much I loved my... well there was you. So, the fact that I ended up cheating on him despite trying to avoid you as much as I was... it... it was a huge mistake."

"I-I didn't know that."

"I'm aware. But you being mad at me helped keep you away, you know? And after I got home, well I was grateful for that because-well, like I said, I was set up and that demon was waiting for me at home. It... traded off, back and forth possessing us until...until," she didn't want to cry out loud, but the tears were flowing, and she had to pause to keep it together, "He died because of me. I... I was aware what was happening for a lot of it so he must have been. He had to know that I... hurt him, killed him. And I know it was because of that demon but I still can't forgive myself for what I did."

Dean frowned. He hadn't ever assumed that anything close to this had gone down. He thought maybe she and his dad were both drunk, or something that might more easily explain hooking up like that. No one had even come close to giving him the idea that any of this had been happening to her. "I-okay, I get what you mean now. I'm...I didn't mean to hound you the way I did and if I'd known-"

"You weren't even supposed to be there. You were supposed to be off on your own. And if I had known that you dad had given you the Impala, I would have avoided you. Maybe you wouldn't have even known I was there."

"Well, fuck."

"But you should know, I am sorry for hurting you. I-if it had just been the sex, I probably would have...tried to explain more to you."

"I'm sorry I've been kind of a dick to you."

"Well...here we are. I guess."

The silence that filled the area was nowhere near as tense as it had been. It was almost calm, the air filled with the soft crackling of the fire and the occasional sound that could have been nocturnal wildlife. Hopefully that's what it was. Neither of them had the energy for a physical or emotional fight at that point.

Dean broke the silence. "Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer if you don't want."

"Okay."

"You still love me?"

"Yeah, I'm not answering that."

He could hear a hint of a smile in her answer.

"So that's a yes?"

"I... we've been fighting non-stop and the last three years between us have been shit. I mean, do you still love me?"

"I-a little, I think. I don't hate you. I even like you some of the time."

"That's fair and I could say likewise.

"You know," he started, "I would have gone anywhere you wanted. Back then. After you got hurt. I could have gotten a regular people job. You could have done whatever. Or we could have hunted together. It didn't have to be like it was."

Mae laughed a bit. "Dean." There was something so sweet about the young man under all the gruffness. No amount of bravado could hide it and she knew it would break that young man's heart all over again. "I..." She also didn't think that was entirely true. He wanted it to be true, she knew. "I didn't want that. After I got hurt, you know, I really did think I shouldn't be hunting, and I needed to make a life. I couldn't very well do that with a hunter. Reformed or otherwise. And you had just as much right to live your own life too. We needed to go our separate ways."

He sighed, wanting her to know just what they had lost. Not what he had lost, or even what she had lost but what they had lost. "I've never felt the way I felt about you again." The words came pouring out next, despite his desire to be uncompromising. "I've missed you Mae, okay?"

"Okay. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say."

"I guess...you didn't miss me?"

"You know that couldn't be true. You were my first...pretty much everything. Of course, I missed you. I just had... a lot going on."

"Yeah."

"This...we should get some sleep. Otherwise Sam'll have to carry both of us outta here."

"That sounds fair to me." He joked.

"You're the one who went for a swim today. I can't imagine you've warmed up entirely so why don't you take the sleeping bag?"

"That's...we'll share it, okay?"

"Dean..."

"Shared body heat. We'll be warmer, like soldiers, right?"

She narrowed her eyes a bit, trying to determine if it was a terrible idea but the idea of being warm that night won out and they shared the rather night accommodations of the sleeping bag for the night.

* * *

A/N- We're almost at the end of this story. This story had been posted in 2008 and a few years ago, I took it down to revise it but that took far longer than I anticipated. So, not that I've achieved this one goal, should I keep going with the rest of the series? I won't remove the stories in their entirety but would just replace chapter by chapter. Let me know if you want a revised series or if I can just put it all to bed!


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

* * *

The times they got to sleep together were odd, as she recalled. If they were all at Bobby's, Dean would sneak into her bedroom where they would share her twin bed. That was typically where they could also have sex most easily. When they might be on the road and Bobby and John would go off on a hunt, they typically shared a room but with Sammy. The understanding John and Bobby had was that the boys shared one bed and Mae took the other. That's what they did when they were kids. Although sometimes, they would all end up sharing a bed, often because Sam preferred to snuggle with her after having a nightmare. But as teens, after they had started dating and being intimate, Dean and Mae would share the bed.

But there has always been this linger fear that they might get caught and get in trouble. Sam never ratted them out, perhaps fine with not having to share a bed with his older brother. And neither Bobby or John had ever walked in on them. Snuggling up in a sleeping bag, simply to stay warm, having achieved a very tenuous peace, was not Dean's ideal imagining of this situation. It was just so damn awkward.

Yet some strange impulse told him to keep her close. He could deal with their issues. Things were not perfect, near perfect or even good. But they were better. Maybe they could keep getting better. He felt as if that better understanding he'd gain that night. He didn't know precisely why. The easy thing to do would be never talk to the woman again. She wasn't exactly the easiest woman to get along with and no matter how fond of her he was, he couldn't quite get a bead on how she felt. Still… knowing what he knew now, he had softened more towards her.

Shifting, he let his arm fall over her waste, pulling her a bit closer. She tensed. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, get over it Mae. It's cold."

There was more than a little satisfaction in having her so close. He smoothed her hair down a bit but resisted kissing the top of her head. Then he settled. Mae followed suit after several moments, hopefully trusting that this was just about warmth and comfort at the moment. One thing he had realized that night was that she was broken too. It had been easier to cast her as an uncaring villain in his life but really, she had been just as hurt as he had been. The years apart had not been kind to her. A part of him wanted to take care of her because of that.

If anyone had asked her, Mae would have claimed it was because she was tired, sore, cold and just not ready for another fight. Even if it tended to be her who started the fights. That might have been true, but she worried the reality was because it was Dean. He was distractedly warm and while neither of them was smelling particularly fresh, there was something almost comforting about it. It had been a long time since anyone had held her, just held her and let her sleep. Had she not been so tired, she would have resisted since it made her feel incredibly vulnerable. They both fell into sleep with ease.

* * *

Mae was still asleep when he woke up. She cuddled against him more, closing the polite gap he had left between them. It made him smile. Sure, she was probably just cold but there was something a little rewarding about her not just fighting him. Or herself. If his body wasn't beginning to alert him to the discomfort of sleeping on a forest floor, he might have let himself enjoy it. He might have even relished in her embarrassment in discovering this lapse in her facade.

Dean slipped his hand from around her waist and unzipped the bag. There was no way to get out without doing so and without waking her. Mae groaned, grabbing arm to cover her again. Whatever she mumbled was assuredly profane, but it made him smile, nonetheless.

"Rise and shine Princess." That made her head shoot up, sleepy blue eyes narrowed at him. She looked almost cute.

"Princess?"

"Sparky?"

Was his retort. Those red lips puckered as she contemplated giving up the nickname that she had decided to bestow upon him. Deciding she could live with 'Princess' knowing that 'Sparky' got under his skin, she dropped it and pushed away.

Somehow, she managed to look pretty he thought. Her spine and joints popped in protest as she got out of the sleeping bag and stretched. The fire had burned down to embers although seeing as the sun was officially up it didn't matter. Dean stood now too, not particularly relishing the kinks and aches that pervaded his frame.

"What time is it?" She said with a yawn.

"Early."

Mae was still too tired to push back. Dean's eyes swept over the area. Everything was in place; much better than last time he woke up. Sam was still asleep, and they were all in one peace. Plus, there was an almost hopeful feeling that greeted him this particular morning. His eyes lingered on the woman as she retreated presumably to relieve herself.

Moving in the opposite direction, he took the same liberty. It was too early for his preference, but he was more than ready to get the hell out of the woods, take a long shower, and get some real sleep. Once he was done, with a sigh and a scrubbing hand to his face he went to wake Sam. "Hey, Sleeping Beauty, rise and shine."

There was affection as Dean nudged his brother's sleeping form with his boot gently. The younger Winchester groaned, throwing his arm over his face. "Dude knock it off."

As if suddenly realizing that Dean towered over him or the ground was nowhere near as comfortable as an all too uncomfortable motel bed, his eyes eased open. "Uh, I wish this were a dream." He groaned.

His brother chuckled. "No such luck. How you feelin'?"

"Terrible."

Sam sat up. He did feel terrible. Pinpointing what hurt more would not have been an easy task as everything hurt. Maybe Dean would let him rest for at least one day. Maybe Mae could distract him somehow. Although with his brother he wasn't sure he wanted to know what that way might end up being. The pair might have been fighting but you didn't have to look hard to see there was something there, under all the hurt and anger something tangible.

Discouraged, Sam ran a hand through his hair. It wasn't as if he could be comfortable with the love of his life banging his Dad. Dean had every right to be pissed off at that but that didn't change the way he looked at her. His brother was in love with the odd, uncouth, brutal, lovely and lanky redhead.

Sam had a huge bump on his head. It was among his more annoying injuries as he touched it every time her raked his hand through his hair and it throbbed. He was achy, tired, hungry and very, very ripe. Yeah, this was like being a kid all over again.

"Where's Mae?" Sam asked as she unzipped the sleeping bag and rose to his feet, hoping to roll some of the tension out of his neck.

A sharp whistle brought both their attention to the other side of the clearing. "Right here, Mop Top."

"Mop Top? Sam questioned to his brother, who did not help matters with his cocky smile and shrug.

"Frank, Joe—let's go. I want real coffee and a shower."

That merited a confused glance and shrug between the boys. Mae didn't explain any of her comments knowing Sam would probably look it up and be slightly insulted by the Hardy Boys reference when she was long gone. The woman just turned on her heel and began packing up the site. It would be night by the time they made it back to the motel but that was fine as long as they made it back. It almost looked like a run of the mill camping trip they were coming back from, aside from their appearance. Tattered, torn, bloodied, they made quite a set.

They packed up the camp site and made their way back to the car. Sam was surprised that no fight broke out. Dean and Mae let him know how the rest of the job went down, that he was right about the spirit connection and the rest of the night had been quite uneventful. The rest of the hike back to the car was almost nice.

The trio was just as quiet on the drive back into town until they pulled up in front of the motel where the Winchester's were staying. The trio sat awkwardly, no one talking and no one getting out of the car yet. Sam broke the silence with a polite cough. "I… I'm gonna… go inside, like now."

That left Mae and Dean alone as they watched Sam get out of the back seat and into the room. In any other mood she would have bolted and put as much distance between her and Dean as possible. But she was tired, not just physically. She was tired and lonely. It was a feeling she thought she had escaped but like so many other emotions, Dean brought them to the surface. "I'll take you home."

Mae's eyebrow quirked, nearly laughed. It was an odd Dean-style form of chivalry. Or maybe he was searching for some sort of control over everything, she thought. "My car is right over there." She pointed just a few spaces down. "I think I can make it on my own." She could have sworn he looked disappointed.

"Yeah. Maybe we could-"

"Dean I'm not sure what this is about but… it's been a long couple of days. I just want to take a shower and catch some real sleep, 'kay."

"Yeah but maybe-"

It was Mae's frown more than her words that interrupted him this time. "No maybes. You can't count on maybes."

Dean chuckled a bit.

"Dude, that was not a joke. I swear to God, you and your nicknames."

"What, I like calling you Maeby."

With a sigh, she shook her head. The neon pink of the motel sign set off her skin, hiding the paleness in the odd wash of color. "I'm going back to my motel for the night before I head out. We'll catch breakfast or something, yeah?"

* * *

Mae looked a lot better in the light of day. It could have been a full night's sleep in a real bed, the clean clothes, or the shower but she looked good. Better than good.

"Skippin' out on me, Singer?"

She should have guessed it wouldn't be that easy to just leave it all behind. "No rest for the wicked. You know that Winchester."

"Yeah but… there's always breakfast."

"I was always more of a dessert girl myself."

Dean knew the kind of girl she was, which was why he was up at the ass crack of dawn to make sure that she didn't leave without saying anything. He could have tracked her, but he didn't want to have to do that. He wanted… well the list was long and confusing particularly to him. But he wanted her to make the choice; stay or go, whatever she picked he wanted her to examine the choices. Not just fall back into old ways.

He looked at her as if it were the last time, he would ever see her. He was probably right. In the past 8 years, he had seen her twice. At least this parting was better than the last. He wasn't satisfied but he wasn't left with such bitterness this time. Dean knew he was asking for too much, wanting more. It was better this way. They weren't fighting and he was closer to forgiving her than he had been in a long time. Still, he wasn't particularly happy.

The woman packed and he tried to keep out of her way while coming up with a reason to make her stay, make her talk. "How's Bobby?"

She snorted. "You'd know better than I would." It wasn't a topic she wanted to talk about either, but it was a little better than the previous one. She had made many promises a long time ago and didn't know which ones might win out if Dean kept asking.

The older man frowned. He had hoped something had changed in the last few years. "You're still not talking to him?"

"Don't have a reason to, really."

It wasn't rocket science to Dean. "He's your family, that's reason enough."

She shivered and it was almost like a gust of cold air gave her enough pause to shut down any further conversation. "We don't need to get into this again, do we? I know you don't approve but clearly, I suck at this family thing."

Dean didn't want her to go, every fiber of his being telling him not to let her. He didn't want to wait years to talk to her again. Things weren't better. Yet. They could work on it.

There wasn't anything left to do in the room. She was packed and ready to go but now Dean stood in her way Try as he might, his smile didn't reach his eyes as he took her bag from her. Even as she tried to let go, he placed his hand over hers. It was an impulse and perhaps one of the stupider ones he had recently. He pulled her forward and kissed her.

This one was sweet, not frantic or forced. It was a tender and chaste gesture. Her body tensed and she didn't kiss him back. But she didn't pull away. Dean wasn't even sure he wanted her to kiss him back. It was almost romantic but held more of a familiar feeling to it. Mae cleared her throat after he pulled away. "What was that?"

"I wanted… hell, I don't know what I wanted. I just… that other kiss left me with a bad feeling is all."

"This one was a bit better." The curve of her lips was small but genuine and he pale skin did nothing to help her hide the soft blush.

"Just a bit?" he asked, leaning in her space with more swagger this time.

"Yeah."

Dean smiled when he saw it. It only lasted a moment, the mere seconds it took her to get out the one syllable word. Those storm colored eyes of hers softened and saw that girl he had fallen in love with so long ago. She was still there, and he felt foolish for having doubted it.

It was a light and friendly gesture as he pushed her free hair out of her face. "Don't be a stranger, Maeby."

"You ever come back to a place you've hunted something without finding out that something's up? We finished the job. I won't be back here."

The girl was gone, and the hunter was back but he smirked all the same.

"I didn't mean here. I mean… we don't have to go another 3 years without talking."

"Since when does Dean Winchester like talking?"

"I like talking to you."

"Dean…"

"Don't. Don't make excuses. Listen, if you don't want anything to do with me, just say so. But if you miss what we had, being friends then… let's try to be that."

She was quiet.

"Second chances Mae. I'm willing to give it a try, what about you."

She shook her head, not in disagreement but in confusion. "You'd give me a second chance?"

Once again, it was crystal clear to him. "Yeah, wouldn't you give me one?"

She laughed nervously. "I don't know what you're expecting."

"Dammit Mae, as annoying as you are, I like you okay? I like being with you, I even like arguing with you. I… I want things to be like they were between us."

"Dean…"

"You don't have to make a decision right this second but... call me, pick up when I call you and let's just see, okay?"

* * *

A/N...I'll be revising the other stories in this series so please be sure to follow Why Won't You Stay (The first two chapters are the ones to read next!) followed by Waiting For a Coincidence.


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